There seems to be a common misconception that the thresh hold for being gay is very high and totally unattainable unless you've already surpassed it. However, its not as hard to be gay as everyone thinks.
Granted, homophobia, the country's discriminatory past, miseducation and ignorance certainly make homosexuality a taboo in today's society that too many people are deathly afraid of, so its easy to distance yourself as far as possible from gay thoughts—maybe even gay people and culture—so you don't have to think about it.
In fact, people express homosexual tendencies all the time with things like "girl crushes," threesomes and pornography. The only difference is that these have become normalized by society so that cisgender, heterosexual people can express their underlying desires while maintaining a resolute gay-free image on the surface. This creates the conditions for people who have been married for decades to someone of the opposite sex only to realize they're gay way too late in the game.
If we talk openly and honestly about our desires that are only "bad" by society's standards, we can reduce the number of late bloomers that much easier.
Personally, my realization that I was gay is specified by lesbianism, so lots of these are mainly applicable to women-who-love-women. However, I think these experiences are universal enough to be applied to anyone if you tweak a circumstance or two.
So, without further adieu, you might be gay if:
1. You Have Girl Crushes
Growing up, the first time I heard "everyone has girl crushes. That's normal." I could have cried from relief. When, in fact, girl crushes genuinely just mean you have a crush on someone. It's not that difficult. Your feelings are information from your brain, listen to them!
2. You Dreamed Of Your Husband Leaving The Picture
When I was a kid, I used to say I wished I could have three kids with my husband, then he'd die of something like a serious illness, then I could have a female friend move in with me to help raise the kids. This is a perfect example of denial in its purest form.
3. You "Appreciated" Some Friends Way More Than Others
At about middle school or high school, I had certain friends that just really stuck out to me. I'd think about them constantly, "looked up" to them more than others, and revered their beauty. Some of my strongest feelings for people were always for women, and I described it as I just "really, really liked them." Yeah, right.
4. You Watched Reality Shows On MTV And Oxygen
I'm pretty sure over half of the viewership on shows like Bad Girls Club, Jersey Shore and A Shot at Love with Tila Tequila are under aged kids who don't have access to the internet and want to see girls make-out. At least, that's why those were my favorite shows growing up, anyway.
5. You Looked Forward To Sleep Overs For The Wrong Reasons
My first sexual experiences were with girls during sleepovers. Every time I went to one I hoped we would "practice kissing." Yet somehow, I just chalked this up to being a kid and exploring and put it out of my head.
6. You Were Terrified Of The Locker Room
The locker room was the worst in middle school, not only because you're body is changing and that's weird, but also because it seemed like with one wrong glance you could be outed and called gay for the rest of your school years.
7. You Watch Homosexual Pornography
This one might seem a bit obvious, but when I started putting the pieces together for myself and expressed that to some friends and family members, multiple people told me that doesn't mean anything. Shockingly, if you watch homosexual porn, you might be a little bit homosexual!
8. You Were Obsessed With A Gay Couple On Social Media
I was raised to be a religious bigot, so I equally hated and was fascinated by gay people. One girl from my high school had a girlfriend and they were very public about it on Instagram, and it got to the point where I would scroll through their accounts daily, subconsciously wishing I could have that.
9. You Freak Out When Girls Touch You
Along with the Christian bigotry I was raised very modestly, so my family never showed physical affection and didn't encourage it with others. So, when a girl touched me and electricity ran through my body, I attributed it to that. Although, when boys would touch me it would usually result in a physical fight. Odd.
10. Someone Told You "Everyone Feels Like They're Different"
If you grew up feeling like you were different from everyone else, but heard many times that everyone feels like that, you might have been right all along.
11. You Don't Have The Same Celebrity Crushes
Around 14 or 15 it was actually embarrassing how disinterested I was in boy bands and teenage-heart throbs. Even now I couldn't tell you the difference between NSYNC and the Backstreet Boys if you paid me.
12. You Feel Guilty
I've noticed that one of the hardest parts of coming out—for lots of queer people I know—is reconciling with the guilt. Whether it be a betrayal of how your parent's raised you, something religious based or guilt that you're not "queer enough," it seems like queer people are always feeling bad for existing.
13. You Have To Google It
As the saying goes, if you have to Google it, ya probably are that exactly. Cisgender/heterosexual people usually don't seriously question their identities.
14. Other People Call You Gay
I swear everyone else knew I was gay before I did. I was constantly getting called a lesbian when I was younger and had people right up until college going, "it's because you're gay." Shame on me for not listening.
15. Sex Ed Raised More Questions Than It Did Answers
Though sex education in the United States is an absolute joke in itself, it would have been really helpful to learn how to people of the same sex could do the dirty. At the very least, the programs I was subjected to just confirmed I was as disgusted with male genitalia as I suspected I was.
16. You Get Jealous When Your Friends Get Boyfriends
This one is pretty self explanatory, and in my experience, doesn't necessarily ever go away all the way. While growing up it was more selfish, but now I still hate it when my sweet straight friends get crappy boyfriends that don't appreciate them. Why can't they see that I—or any other queer—would treat them so much better?!
17. You "Would Sleep With A Girl, But Would Never Fall For One"
This was my go-to excuse when I was trying to hold on to some semblance of my straightness. It was a response that turned on the straight men I was trying to woo at the time and still kept me at arm's length from real queerness.
18. You Got To The End Of This Article
Finally, if you went through all of these points for any other reason besides just to get a few laughs, there is a very good chance you might, indeed, be gay.
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