I always knew that I was "different" from my friends when it came to liking boys. But it took me until the ripe old age of 18 to realize that I actually didn't like boys at all -- that I was, and still am, a lesbian. After this realization, five things that had stuck out as "strange" in my childhood life began to make sense. Here, I talk about how these things made me realize I was truly not attracted to men -- and why, if you can relate to them, you may be lesbian or bisexual, too.
1. You were always obsessed with the strong female characters in movies or shows
Growing up, I adored Elizabeth Swann from Pirates of the Caribbean. She was just so cool. The way she handled a sword? One-upped Jack Sparrow? Looked badass in anything? I was obsessed. Whenever my sister and I played pirates, I was always Elizabeth. Always. This was basically the story with any strong female character, even the villains. While this may be due in part to my feministic love of kickass females, I also realized later on that I totally had the hots for Keira Knightley in anything -- especially in a pirate hat (I still do).
2. You never dreamed like other girls did of marrying a man and having a few kids.
I could always picture myself having the home, the two kids, and the husband -- but I was never enthused. I never saw myself loving my husband; it was more of an "I'll put up with you in a partnership-like way to raise our kids but I'm not going on dates with you" type of situation. For many years, I thought this meant I was "weird" or "broken" because I thought I could never fall in love. Turns out, I was just looking in the wrong place.
3. All your friends are girls (and they're all beautiful too)
And whenever a boy broke one of your friend's hearts, you could never understand it. You would give her the world! She's so beautiful, and smart, and sweet. (And no, this absolutely does not mean lesbians have crushes on all their girl friends, for any straight people reading this. Just the occasional few.)
4. You never really thought boys were cute, or charming, or anything that your friends seemed to see.
"He totally likes you!" God, I hope not. He's gross and way too loud. I found myself in this scenario a few times. And once or twice, I may have made up a crush on a boy who was "pretty" to me. See, I'm normal too!
When I was in middle school and into early high school, I tried dating a couple of guys, but it never worked out. It didn't feel magical, or happy, or anything like that. It just felt uncomfortable. I always inevitably broke things off after a month or two at the most because I just felt so claustrophobic and uneasy about the situation. Again, I thought I was "broken" until I had my first girlfriend, and as all corny stories go, I finally found out what love was supposed to feel like.
5. You think you might be a lesbian
This one's pretty self-explanatory -- if you're wondering whether or not you're a lesbian, you probably are (or you're bisexual, which is cool too). Take your time to figure things out, and breathe. Everything is going to be okay.
