I first experienced the joys of having an upstairs neighbor in my freshman dorm last year. I lived at home over the summer and I guess I got too used to the peace and quiet, because now that I'm on campus once again, everything my upstairs neighbor does seems to be ten times worse than last year. Late at night, when I lay my head to rest on my pillow and hear strange sounds above me, I like to come up with ideas as to why I am hearing such noises as I try to fall asleep. Here are some of my best theories thus far.

You might be an upstairs neighbor if...

1. You're neither a night owl nor an early bird. You're both!

2. You don't just walk around your room. You like to stomp from place to place while wearing high heels.

3. You love to jump on your pogo stick at midnight every night.

4. You don't believe in gently shutting drawers and closing doors. Slam them!

5. Random screaming outbursts are absolutely necessary.

6. You love to practice your tribal dance routines with all of your friends as soon as you think your downstairs neighbor has gone to sleep.

7. Class? What's that? You have a downstairs neighbor to disturb all day, every day!

8. You love to roll bowling balls across the floor to create a unique sound! The more you confuse the downstairs neighbor, the better!

9. You have all of your heated arguments with your significant other in your room. Usually past a normal person's bedtime.

10. You enjoy practicing your Olympic gymnastics routine in your room. It's so spacious!

11. You got a puppy for Christmas? Keep it in your room so your upstairs neighbor will feel included!

12. You believe it is a scientific fact that jumping on a trampoline is the most efficient way to get in and out of bed.

We may never know what those pesky upstairs neighbors are up to. Keep on keeping on and respect quiet hours, people.