Love is supposed to be kind and patient. Love is supposed to be caring and amazing. The way you loved me was none of the above. The way you loved me, wasn't love at all. It was painful. It was draining. It was horrific. You drew me in with what I believed was a charming personality, but turned out to be manipulation. You lied from the very first day I met you. You ruined the girl who I use to be.

You made me believe I was crazy and insecure. You said its only you, she’s an ex an she lied and cheated on me and I am finished with that relationship. Now looking back she probably was faithful and good to you, you were describing yourself, not her. When I caught on to your lying, you would hide your phone so I couldn’t see that she had texted you and you still were dating her. If I brought it up to you, you would scream and get mad saying I need to stop accusing you of things without proof. You would manipulate me to think I was seeing things and that it was all in my mind.

I wasn’t allowed to hang out or even talk to other friends without you thinking I was cheating or talking shit about you. You would go through my computer, my phone, and read my private messages about how I was hurting because of you and would threaten to leave me forever if I ever did it again. When you caught me once again talking to a friend through Facebook, you held a baseball bat and said you had a gun that you were going to destroy my new car. I was forced to keep my feelings in and feel completely alone and that I was wrong for what I did, when in fact, I was 100% normal and in the right about what I did.

You were emotionally abusive and destroyed the image I had of myself. When there was a fight and “I” did something wrong, you once said, “You’re a psychotic irrational lunatic who needs to be put down like a fucking dog.” You called me a b***** c*** w**** and so on every time there was a fight. Even “You need to go rot in hell with your mother.”

You didn’t just manipulate me; you manipulated your parents as well. After one night that I finally called you out on lying and cheating now with 3 different girls, you threw me against the ground and then held me down by my throat. I scratched your face and screamed because I couldn’t move. I tried to call the police, and you kicked a door down and broke my phone. You told your parents that I punched you and broke my own phone, and probably because you manipulated them for so long, they believed you. This wasn’t the only time you physically harmed me either. You drew back on me one time while I was having a panic attack, because it was “annoying” to you, and you just wanted to shut me up, is what you said. You threatened to even kill me on occasion and told me you were going to beat me up.

What made me laugh looking back is all the times you apologized for abusing me. You would say it was just because I was mad, I didn’t mean it. It won’t happen again. You said this too me EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. And for whatever reason, I believed you every single time, only for you to start the cycle back over and do it all over again.

4 years of abusive behavior has finally came to an end, I have finally cut you off for good. I am still the crazy one, I am still the one you try to turn all our friends against, but even they know how big of a liar you actually are. As I am sure the lies will never stop in your life, I know they have in mine. I am no longer having panic attacks, because you were the main source of them. To the other girl, I hope you realize what he has done to you also. You deserve better than him, you deserve someone who will be honest to you and not speak poorly of you behind your back. I don’t wish you the best but I also don’t wish you well. I only know one day you will stand in front of God and have to explain yourself to him. I may never be the person I was before I met you; I can’t lie and say I am okay right now, because I am not. But it doesn’t hurt as much as it use to.