Ever since the rise of social media apps and the ability to easily broadcast your life for friends and family to see, it’s not hard to tell who’s dating who. In fact, as much as you might not want to admit it, you’ve probably based someone else’s relationship status solely off of their Instagram feed. It’s essentially how we get information, but what is the big deal if some choose to keep their relationship offline?
There’s seems to be this stigma that a relationship is not valid, unless it is made valid on social media. Whether that is through Facebook posts, Instagram tags, or Snapchat filters, people feel the need to post about their relationship to almost reassure its existence. This may not be the case for everyone, but I’ve seen first hand how this might actually start to cause problems within a relationship.
Why are these two topics even correlated at all? When a couple, as a whole, chooses to keep their relationship off of social media, people find it strange but usually leave it alone; but when one person in a relationship chooses to post while the other does not, this is where I’ve seen the most complication.
If your significant other chooses to keep your relationship offline, it shouldn't be something that comes up again in conversation. Most cases I've seen like this, the boyfriends are typically "guilty" of not broadcasting their love for the world to see, and their girlfriends usually retaliate by having a mentality similar to "you don't love me if you don't post about me".
The rise of posting and sharing intimate moments of your relationship on social media is what has fueled this correlation and has somehow distracted us from the original ways of displaying love. We started seeing how other couples always seemed to be posting happy and carefree pictures/videos and we longed for a relationship as Instagram perfect as theirs, but we forgot social media can be deceiving and a relationship where you're happy 24/7 seems actually sort of frightening.
I am currently in a relationship where my S.O does not use social media, and I've noticed how this actually comes with some perks. There are no pointless arguments about what I'm liking, sharing, or posting on any of my apps, and a new level of respect and trust has allowed us to become closer than I ever have in any past relationships. I'm no longer waiting to feel loved from a post of us on his Instagram with a lengthy caption, but instead, I get to feel loved by his thoughtful actions and kind words; in person.
I think that over the years, we started to somehow get it all wrong. The strength of love is not dictated by how many Instagram posts your S.O has of you two together, but it is more dictated through REAL actions and REAL feelings.