"You don't need him."
"It's not your fault, so stop blaming yourself."
While my best friends cry on my shoulders, these are two sayings that I consistently repeat to them. However, I feel like they haven't been making an impact on their actual hearts. So, in this article, I want to give you, the girl with the broken heart, or the girl who is trying to heal, or the girl who feels like they will never find another guy who loves them, some sisterly/best friend advice.
1. "You don't need him."
There are so many times when you feel like you can't live without a boy and they mean everything to you. So, when it ends, you feel broken, depressed, or that life may not even seem worth living anymore. Yet, I'm here to tell you that girl, you do not need him. I understand that you need to cry it out, so take one day to wallow. Then, surround yourself with people that actually benefit your life. Call your sister to come over and make dinner with you. Text your parents to see if you can stay with them for the night. Or even, just FaceTime your best friend to vent. There are so many other amazing people in your life, so stop thinking that you need him to survive.
2. "Stop thinking it's your fault, you did nothing wrong."
"What did I do wrong?" "Is it me?" These are questions that consistently start swirling through your head after you break up with a crappy guy. Well, let me tell you, more times than not, it's not your fault. That guy who dumped you probably convinced himself that he didn't want a serious relationship and left you behind in the dust. If that guy couldn't understand how beautiful, kind, and special you are, why would you think that he deserves you? He doesn't. But, I promise that your unconditional love for him will be treasured more by someone that can give you that love back.
3. "You can do so much better."
So many of my friends start talking to a guy, who think is so cool and interesting, yet realistically, he's usually a 6/10. Now, I'm not just talking about physical appearances, because don't get me wrong, I know some crappy guys that should be Calvin Klein models. A 6/10 could be so hot, but be abusive, or pessimistic, or have a terrible personality. Girls find a few things that they like about a guy, but disregard the other small facts about them that really matter. So, yes, I know you can do better than the frat guy who only wants to show you off to his friends, but never finds time to spend quality time with you.
4. "Stop talking to boys and start seeking out men."
I'm not saying go date a 40-year-old guy when you're only 19 (I mean, it's a little weird, but if you want to, go you), but most guys in their young adult lives are still acting like they are boys. However, the males you should be surrounding yourself with are mature guys who act like men. Someone who has goals and respects woman for more than just their bodies. Talk to the guy that appreciates your friendship more than flirting. In this case, actions speak louder than words. Stop talking to the guy who will tell you whatever they think you want to hear and go after the guy who will follow through on his word.
5. "Nice guys don't always finish last."
I don't know why girls (and guys for that matter) think that "being nice" is a bad quality. I always hear, "Oh, well she's too nice," or "He is so nice but...," There is nothing wrong with being nice. Sure, the guy who is super hot and mysterious, but you're literally freaking out that he leaves you on read for 10 minutes or more, multiple times a day. Why would you want to put yourself through the petty games? Nice guys genuinely want to hear about your day and treat you right. Usually, they are right in front of you and you don't even see them. So, open your eyes and give them chance because usually, they are the ones who get the girl.
Girl, I may not know you, but I know someone like you or I have been you. We have all been in the situation where the type of guys we have been crushing on, usually leading to us having more trust issues or cry more than we smile. You are beautiful, kind, intelligent, loving, and so deserving of a nice man who genuinely cares about you and your wellbeing. So, stop crying and thinking about the guy who honestly, probably feels no remorse for breaking up with you, and date the man who would give anything to see you never cry. Your 12/10 man exists, so forget the guy that is holding you back.