I don’t think it’s even possible to scroll through Facebook without seeing a link to articles like, “24 Things Better Than Getting Married at 24,” “Why I Love Being Single,” “Why Marrying Young is Better,” or “Date This Kind of Guy to Have the Best Relationship.” In an attempt to constantly assuage the doubts or worries of the writer, we’ve created an environment where we aren't just obsessed with relationships, but every possible stage is critiqued and criticized.

In case it wasn’t obvious, people write about their own beliefs. I have friends my age who are single and have never been in a relationship, single by choice, recently dumped, dating, in a relationship, engaged, and married. I don’t think any of them are doing the wrong thing because there is no wrong status. It’s about intentions and your own personal beliefs. The question shouldn’t be, “Are you single?” or, “Are you not single?” but why you’re in whatever relationship stage you’re in.

Are you dating someone because you’re afraid to be single? Are you thinking about engagement because everyone around you is getting engaged, and your relatives are starting to push you towards it? Your relationship status is about you and only you if you’re single, and you and your significant other if you’re in a relationship. It’s not about the “culturally appropriate” status because guess what? There is no appropriate status. You can get married at 20, 22, 25, 27, 30, 35, 40, 50, or 60 years old, and people will still criticize you. You have to focus on these ideas: are you content? Are you healthy? Do you feel as if you are improving as a human, whatever state you’re in?

And here's the kicker: of all of the things in the entire world, why should we ever define ourselves by our relationship status? You’re literally one in seven billion. You’re literally a miracle. You could change the world. You could change the lives of the people around you with love and kindness. You are smart, wonderful, and have passions. Relationships are great, but they should never define your worth as a human being.

My heart hurts a little bit whenever I see those "Letter to my Future Husband" articles. I think they are sweet and have good intentions, but they are deceptive for two reasons. One, because unless you are engaged, you have no idea what your future husband is going to be like. The bare minimum should be that he respects, loves, and admires you. You don't know much of anything beyond that, and the more you idolize him, the more it's going to hurt when you meet your flesh and blood man. He's not going to be perfect. There are days he is going to hurt your feelings and days he's going to make you furious. He is flawed, and so are you, which will make for a relationship full of real pain, and real love.

Second, the reason those articles are deceptive is because, if the writer comes from a Christian background, they are often tinged with an apology. Let's hold up a minute. Why are you apologizing? Okay, you've made mistakes. Guess what. So has your future husband. Again, it's because you're both human. The Bible doesn't say, "All of your mistakes are forgiven and every day is a new mercy oops except the mistakes you made, please apologize to another human for making those mistakes before he was in your life." I'm not saying it's okay to go rob a jewelry store, but please be aware that Christ loves you for exactly who you are, unconditionally, and forgives everything. It's not another human's job to forgive you. That has already been done.

If you are currently unfulfilled, you are not going to find that in a partner, and I think deep down you know that. Relationships don't complete you. Flowers, expensive dates, sex, elaborate declarations of love, whatever; none of that completes you. And we know that, but it's hard to admit. Instead, we deflect and attack other people's positions, because if we're criticizing whatever others are doing -- marrying young, marrying old, being single -- maybe we can convince ourselves that whatever we're doing is fulfilling us, and it's everyone else who isn't fulfilled.

Go forth, and find joy in your life. If you are happy, then I sincerely congratulate you! Don't let anyone ever make you feel bad about being happy.

You’re a person. You’re not your relationship status.