“You need to go out and experience the world!”

Says everybody who hears I’ve been in a four year relationship since my sophomore year in high school.

Let's analyze; yes, I’ve only been committed to one person. Yes, this limits my romantic social life. Yes, there’s probably friendships I’ve missed out on simply because I’m in a relationship and am more aware of those who approach me. But no, I don’t regret it.

In high school, it didn’t seem like a big deal to anyone that I have only been in one relationship. Everyone thought it was “sweet” and congratulated me on being so responsible. It’s interesting that now, as a college student, is where the comments somewhat criticizing my choice to remain committed to this one person have started to come up.

What is it about college that is supposed to make us all go wild? I’ll admit, the freedom is amazing, and finally being independent really creates a newfound appreciation for all that the world has to offer. However, all college students are expected to have the time of their lives, and for some reason this often includes meeting different people and experimenting in romantic relationships.

I’m all for going wild; road tripping for weeks, staying out late, traveling, going to concerts on the night of a final, the occasional bar hop. The problem is the conventional definition of “wild.” As a young woman, I’m expected to meet different guys. And I don’t want to, so that makes me stagnant.

I'm not trying to make a statement. I think people should be allowed to date whoever they want, whenever they want, and however they want. If there's something I despise, it's gotta be those "stable" and "perfect" couples who feel like they need to rub it in everyone's faces that what they're doing is right, and everyone else should be looking for the same thing. There's nothing more fake than this. Simply put, I just really like the guy I'm with.

In response to a recent article, but without opposition to it’s message, by no means do I feel like I’m settling. I’ve found someone who makes me so very happy, whose grown with me and without me, whose tested me emotionally, and who allows me to feel independent and strong while staying committed. This, to others, may sound like a complete bore. But to me, and also to others, it’s a dream.

Personally, I don’t want to be dealing with the drama of dating. It’s wonderful to put yourself in new and uncomfortable situations, and dating as a college student is an excellent way of doing so, but my personal values and characteristics really wouldn’t mix with that scene.

But Sofi, you may be asking, how would you know if you haven’t tried? Valid question, reader who may have thought of it. You’re right; I don’t know what it would be like to date, but going off of stories I’ve heard sometimes I think I’ve found the only decent guy around. Why would I ever give up something that’s so great, just to “experience” what it’s like to fall in love with different people, always be worried about STDs and wonder “what if he doesn’t call me back?”

I know many of you probably still aren’t convinced that I’m making the right choice. You know, that’s okay. We all have our own preferences and make our own choices depending on what we think will allow us to grow. One thing we can all agree on: it’s vital to grow up, to gain new perspectives, to feel pain and learn how to heal.

I can truthfully say I’ve experienced all of this and more. Life doesn’t always give you nice yellow lemons. Sometimes it hands out piles of shit. I’d just like to experience these nicely packaged piles of shit in ways that don’t involve frustrations associated with dating around.

If you are single and enjoy the dating scene, go for it. By no means will I ever judge, and neither should those around you. Obviously I haven't found the only good partner around, so if you want to keep looking (or NOT, you independent butterfly) please do. Just don't be so convinced that either of us are doing it perfectly right. Life is life.