I do not think it is too broad of a statement to say that everyone, at least once in their lives, has felt...different. No matter who one is in the world, one is an individual--an individual with his or her own interests, personalities, and quirks. Throughout their lifetime, an individual will connect to other individuals in different ways. There could be an instant spark that ignites into a solid friendship for years to come; there could be an edgy feeling in the back of their minds that tells them they have met a person they will never succeed in getting along with; they could feel absolutely nothing in their being and that results in total indifference. It is easy to sense these feelings with two people interacting with one another. However, when an individual is thrust into a larger crowd (the first day of a new school would be a fair example) with multiple personalities either clashing or collaborating together, so many emotions swirling around in words being spilled out of mouths, with countless personal histories that have already taken place among so many, and the thought of making friends in such chaos ever present in the back of this individual's mind--it becomes an entirely different experience, and a rather hopeless one at that. Everyone is bound to feel different in such a situation, feeling as if they stick out like a raven among a flock of doves. Most gain their footing in this social wilderness and manage to make connections to their peers, whatever they may be. Others do not, and these select few are left feeling lost, lonely, undesirable, and wondering what on earth is wrong with them. Eventually, some in this few venture into a different into a different crowd and find their own place among their peers. A handful are left, and those feelings of loneliness cut into the soul, giving affirmation to what they feared: something must be wrong with them, for how could they fail to make at least one connection in such a situation? And chances are, it is not just one situation where this has happened; this is an experience that has haunted them for all their lives.

To this last handful, you have my complete understanding. You may feel absolutely bewildered in crowds and inwardly panic, looking for the nearest exit and wishing with all your heart that you could be anywhere else. You may strongly believe in that "spark" that appears in the first few seconds upon meeting someone and tells you that a potential friend is in front of you, and have little patience for small talk otherwise if that spark never shows itself. You may have legitimate anxiety that paralyzes you in social situations and can lead to panic attacks. You may be an old soul among a crowd of young souls, so to speak, and tire of the same old thoughts, actions, and hobbies that constantly occupy the attentions of those surrounding you. Thoughts may freeze upon your tongue and refuse to smoothly transition into words. You may be terribly shy, and the thought of introducing yourself to a stranger may fill you with dread. You may not connect well with others, and are frustrated at yourself because friendships refuse to take root. You may even feel as if your appearance is what is keeping you from being accepted. Whatever your case may be, and you might not even be able to put your finger on it, you feel as if something about you draws you away from others and you have come to loathe whatever it is that is different about you.

Before I go any further, stop it. Stop the self-loathing, stop asking yourself what is "wrong" with you, and stop putting your self-worth in others and how they accept you. Stop it, because there is absolutely no point; there is nothing--let me say it again, nothing--wrong with you. Now that I have said that, let us continue.

I get it. Making friends was never an easy feat in my experience, because making a connection, a true connection, with others rarely happened. I realized early in my life that friends would not come as easily for me as they did for others, and the individuals I did connect with and established friendships with were precious and few. It was a long and difficult journey, but eventually I realized some truths:

1. You must accept yourself as you are, right now. Not as how you wish to be, or how you wish others will see you. Accept yourself and all your quirks, faults, and virtues. Everyone has them. Other people cannot accept you if you cannot accept yourself. And if you do change for other people, it will never be worth it because they are not even accepting the real you.

2. Become comfortable with being on your own. When you are desperate for people, you may find yourself among toxic relationships. It is better to be a lone wolf rather than be devoured by a false pack.

3. You are not going to fit in with everyone. You might not even fit in with the majority of people you come across. Do not become a people-pleaser and compromise yourself and your ideals. People will always come and go throughout your life. If you compromise yourself, and the time comes for them to walk away, you will be left with nothing.

4. Eventually friends will come, so be patient. You may have to be on your own for a while, but keep your heart open. You will know it when you have found a friend, and cherish the friendship.

5. God made you as YOU. What you see as "different" is what He has bestowed you with. Yes, it may carry you across rougher terrain than what those around you travel, but you will become stronger in the end if you learn to embrace them rather than shove them away. Whatever it is that makes you different is what makes you uniquely you; holding it in disdain means you are holding yourself in disdain, which in turn is disdaining God's wonderful creation. He does not make mistakes, and He surely did not make one creating you.

Embrace your differences. Yes, they may isolate you from those around you at times, and you may be quite frustrated with them, but they are what make you unique. Do not allow them to cripple you; instead, use them to make you stronger for the future.