I've been there too many times to count. Walking into a room looking down hoping that no one will notice you. Passing a mirror praying not to catch a glimpse of yourself. Constantly feeling like everyone is judging or whispering about you. Simple things like shopping or borrowing clothes do nothing but make you feel horrible, especially when you don't feel good in anything. Being the girl who's a size fourteen in high school is hard to say the least. The first time I heard someone call me fat, I just couldn't understand why I didn't look like all the other girls. I used to think that being skinny would solve any problem I had and maybe things would be different. Once I became the girl that used to be "fat" I started to realize that who I was before is just as good as who I am today. I have learned so much about people, life, and beauty that I wish someone would have told my younger self on those bad days. Size isn't as important as we make it seem, and it really never will be.
To anyone out there struggling with your body, or feeling like your not good enough, I have a thing or two to say to you.
The people that matter will tell you that you are beautiful and they wouldn't trade an ounce of you for anything else.
Those who see your weight as a reason to treat you poorly do not deserve your time or energy. There will always be someone better out there that will love you for who you are as a person and will cherish your looks, too. Not everyone is looking for the same body type in a partner, and being unique is gorgeous.
Stop avoiding things that you want to do because of your weight.
Go to the beach with your friends and show off those curves in your favorite bathing suit. Wear the prom dress you have always wanted to wear regardless of what others think you should wear. Be in those pictures your friends and family are always wanting to take because those are memories you want to keep.
There will always be people that want to tear you down for your size.
Even after losing 60 plus pounds, people still have comments about my size. It seems like no one is ever pleased, but what they think shouldn't really matter. Those who aren't happy with themselves love to inflict hurt on others, and they are the ones that are losing in these situations. Staying true to the you that always shines through will show them that they can't break you.
Know that you are so much more than the size of your clothes.
I hear the comment "You were huge!" more times than I like to admit. My response now would be that I was also funny, kind, and the same girl that I am today. I don't regret a single minute of my life then and I am proud of the kind of person that I was raised to be. Being beautiful means having respect for yourself and for others. It means being nice and caring. It means being open to the idea that we aren't all made the same way. Everything that contributes to who you are is important. Even more so than what you look like on the outside.
From one human being to another, accept yourself and see nothing but purpose in all of your atributes. After all, if I hadn't been "the fat girl" I wouldn't be me.
