The older I get, the more I realize how full of horse manure people are. When we talk about love or relationships, the commentary tends to be rather skewed.

These days “all men are dogs” or “women aren’t loyal.” In order to rectify the polarized conversation about both genders, I would like to give my observations about both genders as a whole (Yes I know there are more than 2 genders apparently, but this is not that article). These are generalizations that hold true for some but not all.

However, if you find yourself getting mad, then slide that shoe on because apparently it fits.

Ladies first.

1. You act like you’re special when there’s evidence to the contrary.

I can’t tell you how often I hear women claim how unique they are. Let me give a classic example:

A high school friend I follow made an entire Snapchat story about women who don’t know how to cook. This snap was quite lengthy as she roasted modern women who didn’t know how to “throw down” in the kitchen. In her eyes, what man would marry a woman who seasoned chicken with salt and pepper only? The comedic part about this rant was that she was single herself. For all her domestic skills, she was struggling just like everyone else.

The problem with women like this is they consider love to be a prize for worthy women only. If you don’t cook for your man and wash his briefs, you aren’t “wife material.” If you don’t know how to give a proper blowjob, then you aren’t “wife material.” This label doesn’t have much purpose other than to shame women who don’t bend over backwards for a temporary boyfriend. I call them “Pick Me.” Because all they care about is getting chosen…and not being the one doing the choosing.

2. You are dishonest with yourself and others.

Why do so many women lie to themselves? I know too many women who stay complaining about being single but when asked about their status say, “I’m just really happy being alone right now” or “I don’t want a guy laid up under me. I’m too busy for all that.” Excuses. You have all this practice telling unnecessary lies you think men operate the same way.

Men don’t have to lie to women; in 2018, a lot of you do all the heavy lifting. If you date a man you like and he says any variation of the statement, “I’m not looking for anything serious” or “I’m just trying to have fun” does that not mean casual? What part of those statements sound like he takes you seriously? Women can write a dissertation about consent but suddenly don’t understand body language or social cues. HE DOES NOT WANT TO BE YOUR BOYFRIEND. But guess how many women fall for this and respond with, “Oh me either. I’m not looking to be serious, I just want to have fun.” Don’t claim half these men are players when nothing about their body language or actions says they want to be with you. I’m sorry to tell you, but most men are not that devious.

I’m not done though. What about the many many women who claim to love being single but settle for the most mediocre men possible? You love being single so much you date one man for 2 months and hop into a relationship unquestioned. Don’t get me wrong – some women legitimately enjoy being free agents. But there’s a gaggle of women who don’t actually appreciate their agency to date numerous men. You race to lock the first decent man down because at the end of the day, you are just as hungry for love as everyone else. Stop the lies.

I did not forget about the men. Let’s talk about you guys for a bit.

1. You don't want to be held accountable.

What about the #MeToo movement scares so many men? I find it incredible that a movement about women coming forward with their accusations of abuse turned out to be so controversial. Random men came out the woodwork to vehemently deny a celebrity THEY DON’T EVEN KNOW did something wrong. Do these men pay you to ride their dick or is it just a side hobby?

The reason I am so loud about this is because men need to take out the trash. Most of you don’t even realize how many women you know personally have been assaulted. I’m talking about mothers, aunts, nieces, cousins, sisters, etc. And we can’t forget the men who never discuss it either. Does that not bother you? Does it not make you queasy that sexual assault is so common that most of your celebrity faves are guilty? It should. It should also make you question the people in your own life and in your own circle. Hits close to home doesn’t it?

As a woman who appreciates both feminine and masculine energy, I think it’s time for men to hold themselves and other men accountable. Masculine energy cannot exist without the feminine. And femininity has been attacked and devalued from every angle. Women around the country are telling you that certain toxic actions and behaviors are hurting them. Masculinity isn’t the issue here – it’s the dangerous behavior that masquerades itself as masculine that kills people. Masculinity is not bad and men are not evil. But in order for truly masculine men to make these punks look weak, you need to know what you’re defending women FROM.

2. You are slaves to sex and you don't even know it.

Listen, I know women are great but come on now. Too many men I know pride themselves on how many women they can have sex with in a short time span. You love to brag about the women in your online harem – the ones who send you pictures and the ones who you want to send you pictures. It would be comical if it wasn’t so desperately sad. You live and die by this stuff.

We can make this about women and their need to make a man prove their love. But let’s not act like that’s all this is. You do this to yourselves. You create an environment where men who choose not to have sex for any reason are considered odd or weird. You start out as young teenagers pressuring your peers to have sex with as many girls as possible. Some of you surface on ashy Twitter and call other men "betas" for attempting to connect with women emotionally. And let’s not forget about how you treat LGBT men…as if their masculinity is not equal to yours. You can’t blame women for this stuff because these problems are self-inflicted.

So stop putting women on a pedestal! The women won’t like me for saying this but we are NOT all we are cracked up to be. We are fallible and selfish and sometimes cruel. The only way to ensure you don’t get lost in the sauce is if you value yourself and your life over us. Work out in the gym because you enjoy it, not because it will help you get more women. Live life according to your passions and share these moments with friends. Because as long as your self-esteem is tied to the acquisition of women, you will find yourself struggling emotionally.

There is quite a bit of hypocrisy that both genders like to overlook in order to demonize other. Let's talk about that.