Yes, I’m in a serious relationship in college. No, it doesn’t hold me back. Sorry I would rather be planning our engagement/wedding instead of where I want to party this weekend. Besides, love is nourishment for the soul. Why try to hold me back from that?

Relationships....they’re hard. They’re a choice you make. They can lead to heartbreak. They can make you rethink a lot of things. And no, they're not always great. BUT! Sometimes they ARE great. Really great. Because when you’re with the right one for you, relationships can just as easily lead to happiness.

Yeah, they’re hard. But they don’t have to be. With a little communication and hard work, arguments don’t have to be a daily factor in your life. And yes, they’re still a choice. The thing about relationships though, is that no matter who you’re with, all of these things: hard work, choices, thinking, communication... none of it goes away. It’s what makes a relationship.

The difference is WHO you’re with, and HOW you choose to handle things. Every day you have to consciously make the decision that you want that person everyday of your life. You choose them. I choose my S.O. every day, but not because I have to. Because I genuinely WANT them in my life. I want them by my side. And, there’s no one else I would rather put in the hard work for.

So why do people 5 years or 10 years or 50 years older than me keep telling me that it’s going to ruin my life or hold me back to be in a relationship in college?

Stop. If you’re S.O. is your best friend, if they make you happy, then that’s what matters. A good relationship is hard to come by, but that’s what makes it so worth it. Because in the right dating game, you don’t have to change who you are.

You don’t have to be someone else. You don’t have to give things up to be with someone. You should gain, not give up. And I wish I would’ve known that sooner in life. But back then I was a kid still, right? I was a total skeptic at 16.

I thought to be with someone, I had to give something up. Whether that be my free time, shoving down my true feelings, or anything else... I just thought that was the price you pay to be with someone.

I was WRONG, and I grew up.

When I met my current S.O., I realized that I was gaining something; his friendship, his love, his time, and it was all given freely. And I happily reciprocated. I never had to give anything up. And we still do our own thing. We have our own lives.

But the way they collide and combine is what I call love. I’m my own. He’s his own. And they mash together perfectly. Everything I enjoyed before our relationship, I still enjoy. But now I enjoy it even more because he’s involved. He enhances me life. He’s never tried to control it. My relationship is one of the best things in my life.

I can't wait for my future with my S.O.

Holding me back would be telling me to not shoot for the stars, it would be discouraging my dreams. Instead, I’m encouraged and pushed to be the best I possibly can be. My S.O. is my number one fan, and my biggest support, and I’m his. I get to be his, and I love it.

My relationship is a privilege, and so is his love. I have never ever, ever felt held back in my dreams or in my life. I have only felt loved and supported. So please don't tell me that I'm being held back. Just because you may have found love at 30, doesn’t mean the love I found at 20 is any less than yours. I'm happy, and if that's enough for me, then it should be enough for you, too.

Love comes into your life when you least expect it. It comes out of the blue and smacks you in the face with so much happiness, that you don’t know what to do! So please stop telling people in their twenties that their relationships aren’t real, or they’re not good enough.

Because YOU are the only one who truly knows what’s best for you. I wouldn’t trade my relationship for the world. What's best for me is being with my best friend, my S.O. Maybe you're in the same place in life. Maybe what's best for you is being single.

Everyone is at a different stage in life. Wouldn't it be boring if we were all the same? No matter what stage you're at, just please don't tell people that they're wrong for being at a different place than you. We're all different. That's what makes love fun.

Being in a good relationship changes things. It taught me that it’s okay to be vulnerable. It’s okay to feel shame and it’s okay to be happy or sad or excited. It taught me how to forgive, and have patience. It taught me to be myself in a way that I never had before. It brought a renewed confidence that I’d been straggling to pick up the pieces for since I was that 16-year-old skeptic.

I learned valuable lessons. Love is nourishment for the soul. So, if that’s what it means to be held back by a relationship... then I want to be held down with the person I want forever, and that wants me forever, too.