In the sixth grade, I remember seeing this geeky kid staring at me with the biggest smile ever.
I talked to him after choir, and he was so shy he couldn't even respond to me when I asked him out. He just nodded and smiled.
High school happened, and we were still going strong. We even won "class couple."
Seven years later, we're freshmen in college.
When people ask me about him, there is almost always a part of the conversation that goes along the lines of "Aren't you scared that you're missing out on the experience of other guys?" "What if there's some guy out there that's better?" "What if your true soulmate is out there, and you're just too comfortable to leave him?" etc. etc.
This is then followed by my inevitable sigh and rolling of the eyes because you don't get it until you experience it for yourself.
I have tried figuring out a way to describe what it feels like to have grown up with him, to have taken every big leap with him, to reach every milestone of my life with him, but of the billions of words, not a single one can be used.
He feels like home. I know that if I'm having the worst day of my life, all I have to do is pick up my phone and there is a guy on the other end who is going to talk with me until I piece myself back together. He is always going to be there for me, waiting patiently as he always does, while I take the time for myself to better myself for our future.
He knows me to a "t." He knows that if I'm freaking out, I want to be held and that I need him to lie on top of me to calm me down. He knows that when I'm having a bad day, I need him to tell me over and over that it will all be okay until I believe it. He knows that when I'm hungry, I will almost always want either pizza or Taco Bell.
What's so bad about that?
What is so bad that people feel the need to tell me that I am screwing myself over for loving the man who loved me through it all?
The type of person that I have become is because of him. We grew up together, we're still growing up together, and so we have molded into an epic power duo because of it. We are carbon copies of one another, but with slight differences. He makes a lot more dad jokes than I do, I tend to be more serious. He focuses on getting us to relax and have fun, while I pull us into game mode when needed.
We're like Lebron and Kyrie (p.s. WE MISS YOU KYRIE), playing off each other's strengths and weaknesses because that's what good couples do.
So what if I'm not going out partying every weekend and kissing strangers and having one night stands and using Tinder and having multiple relationships until I find the one. That's not who I am.
I would rather stay in, sitting on the couch, watching a Marvel movie by myself than go out and party. It has nothing to do with the fact that I have a boyfriend, but rather that I do not like to party.
I am not missing out because I have been with one guy for so long. I believe that I am experiencing more of life because of him. He shows me a new experience every day. He teaches me something new every day, whether that be something to do with carpentry or just the way the world works.
He has shown me beauty in all places and taught me how to love all people and things. He reminds me of who I am when the depression and anxiety are threatening to pull me away. He loves and supports me even when I know that I'm being a bitch and I don't deserve it.
I am not missing out because I found the love of my life, the man I am going to marry, early on. I am living my life to the fullest with him right by my side, and I could never ask for anything more.
