Yes it is, and I’ll tell you why.
Everyday I battle with my good conscious
not to hurt myself just because the feeling of
something sharp running down my skin releases endorphins,
forcing me to believe that I need this anti social, destructive behavior.
Please don’t be concerned about me, I do this no longer.
But the feeling of wanting to lingers.
It feels, good, I really don’t know how else to say it.
Not in a way that makes me scared though,
for me I never seek to reveal blood.
I have only done it in secret to feel as though
the world around me feels like it is disappearing,
and it no longer means anything.
Almost as if I mean the world, and we
are in sync and nothing else matters.
And before you judge the child cutting,
It’s not always a call for attention.
It’s often times what I have said,
A feeling of endorphins racing,
A pleasurable sense of peace.