Yes it is, and I’ll tell you why.

Everyday I battle with my good conscious

not to hurt myself just because the feeling of

something sharp running down my skin releases endorphins,

forcing me to believe that I need this anti social, destructive behavior.

Please don’t be concerned about me, I do this no longer.

But the feeling of wanting to lingers.

It feels, good, I really don’t know how else to say it.

It’s pleasurable.

Not in a way that makes me scared though,

for me I never seek to reveal blood.

I have only done it in secret to feel as though

the world around me feels like it is disappearing,

and it no longer means anything.

Almost as if I mean the world, and we

are in sync and nothing else matters.

And before you judge the child cutting,

It’s not always a call for attention.

It’s often times what I have said,

A feeling of endorphins racing,

A pleasurable sense of peace.