Selfish. It is a strong term that tends to be a negative characteristic about someone. I think it's positive.

Merriam Webster defines selfish as "having or showing concern only for yourself and not for the needs or feelings of other people." I have two definitions of selfish. First, similar to Webster's: worry about oneself rather than others. Second: focusing on your needs before others. My personality is normally not these two things. I am a very sympathetic person. I love to serve and help others whenever I can. I often find myself worrying about others and not necessarily taking care of myself. This seems like a contradiction, right? Allow me to explain.

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Often, throughout high school and my first year of college, I was finding every opportunity to help others. I always was thinking of what can I do to be helpful or serving others. I never thought of what I wanted or needed. This often led to me being exhausted, hurt, sick or all three. I never really was taking care of myself, which is important.

As my freshman year progressed, I realized I had begun to gain some weight, and I wasn't happy with the way I looked; I was not taking care of myself again. I began to hate the way I looked. I tried to adjust my eating and exercise habits to try and improve my well being as a whole, but when I got home and had time to relax without the stress of school, I began to realize something. I hated the way I looked because of what society has been telling me.

Society has been telling teenagers and young adults they need to be skinny to be loved, which I used to believe was true, but now I do not. Society has created a plethora of self-esteem issues in teenagers and young adults. They feel they need to look like Barbie or Ken. They want to be perfect because that's what society has been telling us. Knowing I used to think this makes me sick with myself. I do not have to follow what society says is right and wrong. I am my own unique person with my own views.

As I got home, I started to eat healthier and establish better exercise routines. I was doing this for myself. I want to feel better about myself. Someone may think I am too short and I am chubby. Well, here is what I say to that: I do not care what you think. All I care about is that I am making the right decisions for myself. I am being healthy, so I do not have an health issues in the future. I want to be happy with myself and how I look. I do not need to be told how I should look to impress anyone. The only opinion of how I look is mine. This is why I say I am selfish.