Many people, when New Years rolls around, make resolutions about how to improve themselves: drop 10 pounds, go to the gym everyday, get that big promotion. This year, I am resolving something different. I have spent almost 19 years hating things about myself that aren’t worth obsessing over. My weight? It’s healthy. My workout habits? Could maybe improve, but the gym comes second to my other commitments. My job? I will continue to work hard, but there’s only so much I can do about that. I’ve spent nearly 19 years hating myself, so I think it’s time to try something new.

This year, I aspire to being a kinder, more loving person, both to myself and to others. I resolve to cut off negative self talk and to limit complaining. I want to start being more optimistic. I want to show more patience to myself and to others. In general, I just crave to be more. More patient. More tolerant. More understanding. More selfless.

In a society where diet culture and success are hailed as the ultimate aspirations, I am choosing to throw off those shackles. Who are you allowing to dictate what weight makes you valuable? Why does your job indicate your worth as a person? We worry about too many things that are relatively unimportant in the grand scheme of things, so I resolve that this year, I am going to give some attention to being a better soul instead of a better picture.