Last summer, my parents sat me down to talk to me about my grades. Yet again, they weren’t the best. And they were upset. They thought I wasn’t trying and that I was just not being responsible. And it was sort of true. I was at school, but I wasn’t fully there. There was a lot of stuff going on, the most important woman in my life, my grandma, passed away. I also was caught up in hanging out with some of my best friends instead of studying for my classes. I was avoiding all responsibilities. I was so overwhelmed and I didn't know how to handle any of it. Everyone else could see that I was so stressed and lost that I became really depressed and I was in too deep of a hole to get out on my own. That is why I now thank my parents every single day for pulling me out of school so I could learn about who I am.

I started to accept that I would take a semester off from my university, away from my friends, however, being stuck at home didn't go very well. I was upset and always crying. I thought that the world was going to come to an end and that I would amount to nothing since I was taking a semester off. I decided that I didn't want stop taking classes altogether and that I didn't want to live at home. So, I started to do some research to see about living away from home, even though I still wasn't fully on board with not going back to my university. I found a program where I could do volunteer work and stay at a place for free. In the beginning, I was doing it so I could get out of the house. A few weeks later I moved in a house where four other women lived. After a few weeks of living there, I started to accept that I could take a semester off. Over the summer, I spent my days volunteering and my evenings taking classes. The summer went by and I was slowly started to accept that I was going to be gone for a semester. It still wasn't ideal, but I started to realize I wasn't going to die because I wasn't coming back.

Once the summer started to come to an end and I saw that all my friends were moving back in on campus, I started to get upset all over again. What would my friends think? Would they judge me? All these thoughts started rushing through my mind and once again I wasn't okay with taking a semester off. I didn't want to be away from all my friends and I wanted to continue all my classes. I was going to miss out on so much! I was upset and I was dreading everyone noticing I wasn't there. Two weeks into the semester it still sucked, people have noticed I wasn't there and kept asking questions, I had to keep making excuses, I was so embarrassed, I didn't want anyone to know that my parents decided that I needed a break. As the semester went on it got easier and easier. I started to really find myself again. I was starting to really be okay with being away. I had two great people around my age to vent to and get advice from. Also, while spending time with the amazing ladies I got to live with, I got to distract myself from my thoughts while I went to class and volunteered.

As the end of the semester came around, I was anxious to get back to my university for spring semester! But, some things happened and I didn't get to go back for spring. And I had a much better outlook on it this time around. I thought this will be good for me another semester to get back on track. So, I signed up for as many classes as possible, got a job, and moved back into my parents' house. The semester went by so fast. If I wasn't at work, I was at school, and if I wasn't at either of those places I was studying or just being with my family. This spring semester has been my most successful yet and I could have cared less that I wasn't back at my university because I was realizing how much I was growing.

In the beginning, I was worried that I wasn't going to see my friends every day and that I was going to be away from my boyfriend. I thought I was going to miss out on so many things. I was also worried everyone was going to judge me. Another thing is that I practically thought I was dropping out and I wasn't going to be able to follow my dreams. Truth is, I didn't get to see my friends every day and that was fine. We talked all the time. My boyfriend and I got to see each other about once a month and honestly our relationship has improved so much because of it. People did judge me, but that just showed me who my true friends were and that those people shouldn't affect my choices. I didn't drop out because I continued to take classes and I kicked butt.

In that past year a lot of things have changed for me. I became more independent, socially and mentally. I've learned what's most important to me. I found myself again, the girl that I lost freshman year. I am so much happier now. I took a step back from the real world and got to reevaluate how my life was going. I have matured more that I thought anyone could in a year. I became closer to my family and grew in my faith. And I have also learned you don't know what you've got till it's gone, so now I know come August how hard I have to work to stay true to myself and to follow my dreams.