Having grown up as a dancer, dancing has taught me what it means to live as an artist — be it when I dance, the stories I create or how I learn to live in the moment. As an artist, I want to show honesty and grace, even in pain and struggle, so that I may make something beautiful.
Looking back, the routine that has taught me the most about life and what it means as an artist is a lyrical dance to Lana Del Rey’s “Young and Beautiful.” My teacher had stressed to my class that year that, as performers, we must find a connection with the music and create a story with our movement. Without emotion, the dance, and even the dancer, cannot reach its full potential.
My teacher played the song before teaching the choreography, and she told us to think of a time we had been in love or felt love and convey that memory and emotion as we dance.
However, listening to the lyrics, I envisioned my grandma’s journey as she's aged. To me, the song is a woman’s cry, praying for the promise of eternal love, despite her changing circumstances such as youth and beauty.
As I learned the choreography, I tapped into the emotions I imagined my grandma feels as she ages — her worries, fears and hopes. I felt my body's lines create pictures and my facial expressions bring the pictures to life. While I moved to the rhythm of the music, I could feel the spirit of the dance come alive and my body writing a story.
Before the curtains opened for the performance of “Young and Beautiful," I told myself to dance as if I’m dancing for my life. This is you, but dance for Grandma. Most importantly, dance for God, I reminded myself. Then, as the lights shone bright, I felt my body become one with the music. I began to tell her narrative.
My grandma today is more beautiful than ever to me. She has taught me how to love, grow and embrace living in the moment, even in the most difficult of times.
Dancing has not only given me a deeper connection to my grandma’s story, it has also given me a better understanding of, and appreciation for, life. When “I’ve seen the world/Done it all,” as Del Rey sings, I want to keep dancing, even through any struggles or pain I may have. As the music fades to a close, I want to have the confidence that I have danced -- no, lived -- something beautiful.