Sorry Guys, But The Way Things Are Going, A Career Will Beat Love Any Day

Sorry Guys, But The Way Things Are Going, A Career Will Beat Love Any Day

Remind yourself that you are in control of your own feelings, your thoughts, and your life.

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It all began with a couple of sentences. Professor spoke, "To overcome self-doubt; what are we afraid of, who are we afraid of, why can't we own that experience, and what are you supposed to choose. Work or love?"

Initially, when I was writing this, I was in a very dark place. I was at a school I had no interest in being at because I did not care enough to tend for my high school grades. I was unhappy and upset so looking back at my original answer to the question, it may slightly vary as I sit here writing it now. I am finally at peace with myself and found a happy medium.

Personally, I am afraid of love. How do you know when you've found the right one? For years I thought my parents' love was everlasting. Always seeing divorced families and thinking wow, I really do feel bad, but that will never be me in that position. Here we are 18 going on 19 years of living with both my parents and the tension in the household has never been higher.

In fact, it rises by the minute if they happen to even glance at each other. This entire mess occurred because of this so-called "love." I hate to see my dear mother cry, and I've never seen my father cry, yet here he is breaking down right in front of my eyes. I try to blur it out, create an alternate reality, pretend this is not actually occurring.

It's too much for me to bear the thought of my mom, the woman who brought me to this world, living overseas and only being able to see her twice a year. After 18 years of living with both my parents, it's going to come to an end. But I guess that's just life, and it goes on.

Not only does this happen to adults, but the young adults get a taste of this early in life as well. The whole concept of boyfriend and girlfriend could be considered a miniature marriage. I too have encountered deep sorrow over a male. In this generation, chivalry is six feet under, everything is through technology, no one genuinely cares for anyone but themselves.

Everything has become sexualized. Women are objectified and used. That. Is. All. Girls are being used time and time again for their bodies, but no one stops to admire a beautiful mind, an intelligent mind. I would say that I'm not afraid of anyone, but I'm afraid for myself.

I don't want to be used, I don't want to be heartbroken, I most certainly do not want to end up in my parents' position.

I just want a genuine connection with someone. At this point in my life, if it were up to me to choose between work or love, I would say work. I have such an amazing opportunity in my hands right now. As a full-time student, how I do now will completely decide my future.

A career will beat love any day. If I am an established middle-aged woman who loves her job, I will take that over any relationship. Success is in the near future if I take advantage of the situation I'm in now. A boyfriend will not help me reach my future endeavors, only I can help myself to do that.

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An Open Letter To My Boyfriend's Mom

A simple thank you is not enough.
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Your son and I have been dating a while now and I just wanted to thank you for everything.

Wow, where do I start? Ever since the day your son brought me into your home you have shown me nothing but kindness. I have not one negative thought about you and I am truly thankful for that. I first and foremost want to thank you for welcoming me with open arms. There are horror stories of mothers resenting their son's girlfriends and I am blessed there is no resentment or harsh feelings.

Thank you for treating me like one of your children, with so much love but knowing exactly when to tease me.

Thank you for sticking up for me when your son teases me, even though I know it’s all in good fun it's always comforting knowing you have someone by your side.

Thank you for raising a man who respects women and knows how to take responsibility of mistakes and not a boy who is immature and doesn’t take responsibility.

Thank you for always including me in family affairs, I may not be blood family but you do everything you can to make sure I feel like I am.

Thank you for letting me make memories with your family.

There is nothing I value more in this world then memories with friends and family and I am thankful you want and are willing to include me in yours. I have so much to thank you for my thoughts keep running together.

The most important thing I have to thank you for is for trusting me with your son. I know how precious and valuable he is and I won't break his heart. I will do everything I can to make him happy. This means more than you could ever imagine and I promise I will never break your trust.

The second most important thing I must thank you for is for accepting me for who I am. Never have you ever wished I looked like another girl or acted like another girl. You simply love and care for me and that’s all I could ever ask. Every person in this world is a unique different person and understanding that means a lot.

The third most important thing I must thank you is teaching me how to one day in the future treat a potential girlfriend that I may interact with as a mother. I am not a mother, but I one day plan to be. If I ever have a son it is because of how you treated me that I am able to be a humble loving mother to this new face that could one day walk into my door. How you have treated me has taught me how I should one day be in the future and I thank you for that.

This may seem all over the place but that’s how my brain gets when I try and thank you for everything you have done for me. It’s all so much and even the little things are so important so I promise my scattered thoughts are all with good intentions and not meant to bombard you. I just want to get the idea across to you that you are important and special to me and everything you do does not go unnoticed.

Sincerely,

Your Son’s Girlfriend

Cover Image Credit: Christian Images and Quotes

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An Open Letter To The Person Wondering If They Should Stay

It’s okay to be afraid, to look back, and to wonder if you made the right decision.

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Dear Someone,

If you're reading this, you're probably torn. Maybe you feel as if you're overreacting, hypersensitive, or just outgrowing your former needs. You're wondering, "Should I stay?". The answer is simple: no. If it keeps you up at night, makes you feel like less of a person, or tempts you to stay in bed all day, then you should leave. Whether it's a job, relationship, friendship, institution, extracurricular activity, sorority or fraternity, if it makes you question your worth, leave.

Sometimes it isn't easy to just pick up and leave. A decision like that should not be made out of anger, or on a whim. Give it some thought, but don't let it consume you. Ask yourself, "What does this person/thing/place bring to my life?" If you're an optimist, you will think of the good times; if you're a pessimist, you'll think of the bad. The key to letting go is to think of both the good and the bad. Appreciate the growth, but acknowledge the setbacks.

It's easy to say, "I'm done", but it isn't easy to be done. It's okay to be afraid, to look back, and to wonder if you made the right decision. It is human nature to question yourself, but instead of asking, "Why did I do this?", ask, "How can I grow from this?" As humans, we compete with each other and we discredit ourselves more than we believe in ourselves. Competition kills, and it doesn't nurture self-improvement; rather it breeds resentment and a false sense of comfort.

Competition isn't always internal, people will try to compete with you. Sure, everyone has a bad moment, but if their bad moment(s) turn in to a bad friendship, leave. It's harsh, it hurts, but sometimes it's necessary. We're social creatures, we thrive in companionship; not all companionship is good.

Some of us are romantics, which makes leaving a romantic relationship difficult. This person can be the love of your life, your best friend and your family all in one; often it is hard to live life without them. It's okay to miss them, but it isn't okay to run back to them. You must remember that they left your life for a reason. They were great for a time, but they aren't good for you anymore, and that's okay.

Life is short, spend it in the right places with the right people. Above all, remember that no unfortunate situation is worth your happiness.

Best,

A Friend Who's Been There Before.

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