I am angry, I am offended. I have noticed a new trend and I have to say, I’m completely enraged. The words “Ugly” and “Slut” are thrown around in an accepting way. These words are not acceptable.
Self love: it is so important. I am someone who believes that everyone is beautiful in their own way. As a kid, you are told that "you are beautiful in your own way". As a teenage girl, I laughed at this. But after gaining some perspective, I have come to realize that this statement is very true. Everyone has something about themselves that makes them shine.
Cara Delevingne once discussed how someone’s flaw or crack in the “perfect” is what makes someone shine. It lets the things that make you different shine out. A flaw isn't always a bad thing, it is what makes you unique. When I read this, not only did I gain a profound amount of respect for Cara Delevingne, but I learned that there is so much beauty in being yourself.
However, here is something that breaks my heart.
I meet people all the time who don’t think they are beautiful. In fact, they get uncomfortable when I tell them they are because the word ‘beautiful’ doesn’t even pop up in their mind to describe themselves. This trend is more common with girls and it breaks my heart. Society has a way of telling girls to be pretty, to act feminine, but don’t you dare believe you are beautiful. Beauty is set aside for a specific group of woman. Excuse me, no. There is nothing wrong with believing that you are beautiful. That is called loving yourself, loving yourself is believing that you deserve the best. Not letting people walk all over yourself, being able to open up to people. Not being afraid, you are comfortable with yourself and that’s how you should be. You should be proud to be who you are.
'Ugly'. This is where I draw the line. Numerous times I have heard girls calling themselves 'Ugly', but it’s jokingly. They are doing this to get attention or so I have observed. It makes my blood boil. As I said, I have met girls who look at themselves in the mirror and hate themselves. They are so uncomfortable and unhappy with their appearance. Yet, there are girls that think they are so hot, they call themselves ‘Ugly’ almost as a way to get recognition from people, to get attention.
My advice, if you are so desperate for attention or love that you would jokingly call yourself 'Ugly', you need to grow up. It is one of the most insensitive things I have seen. The word “ugly” is full of hate, disgust, and negativity. As someone who has been called 'Ugly', it hurts and it sure as hell isn't funny. Nothing is funny about hating yourself and being uncomfortable in your own body. I still remember the boys and girls who labeled me as “ugly”.
It took me until I was 17 to realize that yes, "I'm beautiful just the way I am". That was a year ago. When you label yourself as ‘ugly’, you are telling other people that it is okay to call you ugly or to call others ugly. That is not okay. I will tell you one thing, beauty comes from within. It’s not in the face, it’s in the heart. It’s how you act, how you treat others. If you jokingly call yourself ‘ugly’, think about the other girl who looks in the mirror and can’t even imagine calling themselves beautiful, maybe that will change your sense of humor.
'Slut.' This word is a word I will never call another girl. Yet, I hear it every day. From boys and girls. First off, when I hear the word ‘slut’, I don't even know what to think. This girl has a lot of sex or enjoys sex. Okay, what’s wrong with that? Sex is completely natural. It’s normal to want to have sex. But, here’s the thing. Sex should be private. If you broadcast about how much sex you have, you aren’t mature enough to be having sex (in my opinion). No one should know about your sex life except you and your partner. If you complain about not having sex with someone, then you aren’t mature enough to be having sex (in my opinion).
Sex should be fun, personal, intimate, emotional, and yes; it is a big deal. Here is the sad thing, I know girls who broadcast themselves as being a “slut” for the soul purpose of getting attention. No, have some decency. When you call yourself that word or another version of that word, you are saying it is okay for guys to shame girls for liking sex. If you have any respect for yourself, you wouldn't call yourself that. And if you think it’s funny to call yourself that, you aren’t mature enough to be having sex. You need to love yourself before you have sex. And if you did, you wouldn’t find it acceptable to call yourself a slut for the purpose of getting attention.
If it's a way of helping yourself to accept your decisions, then it's not right either. You shouldn't get any hatred for your personal decisions. If you don't like your decisions, it was a mistake, grow, and move on. But please, for the love of yourself and feminism, stop calling yourself a slut and do not let society call girls sluts.
Bottom line, these words are full of hate. In fact, if I hear you call yourself “Ugly” or a “Slut”, I will probably call you out. Because there is nothing acceptable about calling you or someone else a “Slut” or “Ugly”. I have seen the damage these words do to people and it’s something you will never forget if you are called these words in a serious situation. It’s unacceptable. If you can’t wrap your mind around why this is not okay, then you probably don’t understand how detrimental words can be. I appreciate a good sense of humor, but not one that jokes around with words that have the pure means of bullying or hurting others.
