You have heard all the protests before: rights to our bodies, rights to equal wages, even the right to vote, until the '20s. Women have never been treated as equal to men. But whose fault is that really? Lawmakers? Men? I happen to feel that the main force holding women back from equality is ourselves.
While some laws have indeed kept women back and misogyny is a very real thing, we have become our own worst enemy. We will never be able to move forward and reach our full potential in society until we stand up for ourselves against each other and our own minds. How exactly are we holding our own sex back? I'll tell you.
"Casually" insulting each other.
I can't remember the last time I let a guy call me a b**** without having a major freakout about how disrespectful it was. Girls on the other hand? The word gets tossed around so casually to their friends - along with slut, skank ... the list goes on. We unconsciously let this slide, and maybe even laugh it off, when in reality it is tearing us down.
If you hear something enough, you will start to believe it (there are studies on this). How can we expect men and the rest of the world to take us seriously when we toss around insults and belittle ourselves in front of their eyes? We can't. Have some respect for yourself and your fellow ladies and drop the casual insult game. We are better than that, and we want the world to see it.
Envying each other.
Stop. Just stop. We all have something to offer to this world and we will all get there eventually. Why is it that a woman can't accomplish anything without 50 other women getting ticked off about it? "Oh, she's skinnier than me", "I heard she starves herself," and "That can't be her natural hair color." What. Is. That? We should be proud that a woman has done something great, and lift her up for her awesomeness. She's making the rest of us look good. Do not get bitter and talk about how bad her hair is; instead talk about how amazing she did on that test, or how cool it is that she landed that internship.
One step forward for any woman is a step forward for women everywhere. Be proud and supportive, not jealous and spiteful. Then maybe she will be there to make you feel great about yourself when it's your turn to be in first place!
Competing with each other.
I don't know what world people live in that they think men have the competitive edge on women. Wrong. Women are competitive down to every single detail of life. If someone's handwriting in their planner is cuter than yours, you are annoyed. If someone got the new Ray Bans you wanted? Totally mad. They drive that car you dreamed of? You are done.
This has to stop. We are not our own competition; the world is. We have so much to overcome, and we shouldn't be adding ourselves to that list. We can take that competitive side we all know we have, and use it for good to overcome our obstacles. It is already hard enough out there, so let's use what we have for the greater good of all the girls in the world. You could even try telling that girl you love her handwriting. It might just make her day. She was probably just looking at the cover of Vogue feeling bad about herself.
The hookup lifestyle. Whatever that even is.
Congratulations, ladies, we have slid downhill to the one thing we rip men apart for making us into: sexual objects. If we aren't respecting ourselves, and demanding it from others, why should we expect anything more from the men who objectify us?
If I had a dime for every "chivalry is dead and men suck" article out there, I could afford the loft in NYC I have been dreaming of. But let's look at it from the other end. I know way too many girls who spend the night with guys without having a first date, or accept "meeting up later" instead of dating. And guess what: if you say yes to it, of course the guy isn't going to say no or try to do better!
Now, if that is the lifestyle you are seeking, by all means go for it; judgement-free zone here. But if you are expecting more, you have to demand more. Guys really aren't mind-readers and don't know what you want unless you come out and say it. And if he doesn't want the same thing, don't waste your time with him just because the attention feels good at the time.
The guys aren't getting out scot-free here, but let's admit they don't deserve all the blame. We are women. We run the world. Let's start acting like it.
Girls, we are so much better than men in so many ways, even if they refuse to admit it. We are smart, strong, beautiful and crafty (I'm not just talking about arts & crafts). It's time for us to get out there and help each other prove it. We have to stop holding ourselves back in these ways.
Women have to be a support system for each other because that is all we have. We are all guilty of the jealousy, insulting, competing and occasional lack of self-respect, because we are only human. But let's make an effort to be there for each other from this point forward and hold each other up in a world that can be too harsh. If men and lawmakers are going to hold us back, let's make it a point to push each other forward.
