I am currently going through a book, "Becoming Myself" by Stasi Eldredge, and the chapter I read today just blew my mind. In this chapter, she talked about the word "misogyny" and how it affects our world, our society, and even our own minds without us realizing it.
Misogyny is defined as the hatred of women.
Now, I wouldn't really say that I feel any sort of hatred towards me because I am a woman. I have never felt persecuted or belittled by males because of my gender. However, the opposite can be said for some women that I know personally. Obviously, enough women have felt this way because there is now a huge movement (in case you have been living under a rock) usually referred to as the Feminist Movement, but I am not writing this article about feminism or even about how men treat women.
I am writing this article because I realized that we have another issue: the way that women treat women.
This may not even apply to you, but I have currently been struggling with something...how do I get past my personal feelings toward someone in order to truly love them like Jesus? And more often than not, the people I have a hard time loving are women. It is a personal problem I have thought about, prayed about, and agonized about recently. Because I desire to be more like Christ, I felt jealous and often irritated by women who seem to be living that out perfectly. How easy it seems for them to love everyone, stay connected to Jesus, and keep a smile on their face every single day! I viewed each woman as competition or as someone who obviously considers herself better than me, but reading Eldredge's book taught me a perspective that I've never heard before.
She writes, "[Women] walk into a room and unconsciously size up all the other women in the room. We quickly judge where we fit in the hierarchy of attraction (worth) without even being aware that we have done it. This behavior finds its roots in misogyny. Remember, misogyny is hatred. Whether we are aware of it or not, when we hate women, we are hating ourselves, cooperating with the Enemy, and perpetuating grave damage."1 When we constantly size up the women around us, we are not overcoming misogyny but adding to it.
Every single woman around me who I saw as a threat to my "standing" in society is not someone to compete with, but someone to unite with. I was seeing other women as the enemy, but the reality is that "Satan is the Enemy."2 He is the only one who gains from women tearing each other down and competing with one another.
So while I struggled to love other women, thinking that I was doing good because I truly wanted to love them but their different personality or irritating perfection made it too difficult, (get over yourself, Megan) I was actually helping Satan tear down a woman who probably struggles just like me. Like Eldredge says, "When we are jealous, envious, slandering other women, we join the Enemy's assault on them."3
My goodness, that was convicting. I was joining Satan's assault on women when I should have been working with them to stop Satan from attacking women. So that's what I plan to do. I can honestly tell you that God must have done something really cool in my heart when I read this new perspective because I thought about the people who I normally compete with or feel jealous toward and felt nothing negative. I was finally able to see these women as God sees them because my perspective was completely changed and my eyes were opened to the true enemy.
He is the one we need to fight. And luckily for us, we know the outcome of that fight. Victory, ladies. Jesus gives us sweet, sweet victory. So I would love if all my lady friends would join me - let's love one another so truly and honestly that Satan has no stronghold in our friendships. Let's care for one another instead of comparing ourselves to one another. Let's just be real; the Christian life isn't easy for anyone, but with others around us who genuinely support and love us, we can overcome just about anything.
Sources:
Eldredge, Stasi. Becoming Myself. David C. Cook, 2013. pp. 57 (1), 58 (2), 60 (3)
