Learning how to incorporate different levels of affection into your relationship for the first time can be intimidating. Lots of questions arise and you may even look to other relationships as resourceful models to compare to yours. Yet, no two couples are exactly alike. What works for one couple does not necessarily constitute a set of rules for others to follow. Determining how fast is "too fast" is daunting; do you set a pace or does the pace set itself?

Sometimes, putting too much thought into things does more harm than good. Yet, one thing that you should never, ever contemplate is whether or not you should say "no." If your partner is attempting to lead you down a road that makes you uncomfortable in any way, then speak up immediately.

Ladies, you are going to have more regret if you follow through with certain actions that you were not completely ready for rather than speaking up and following what you believe is best for your body at that moment.

It does not matter who you are involved with or how long you have been involved with this other person; if both parties are not ready, then the action, whatever it may be, is not to occur. You never know when you will be in a situation where you are going down a road that is not with your best interest at the end. If and when this happens, you will probably have lots of conflicting thoughts. How do you stop the actions that are about to happen? What do you say? Are you going to kill the mood? Was there even a mood to begin with? How is your partner going to react? What is going to happen if you don't stop? Is this the right time?

If at any point you do have a doubt about physical contact, then say something. Having sex does not mean that your relationship is concrete; it does not constitute a "good" relationship with your partner. While it is perfectly okay to have sex (if, and only if both parties are ready and prepared), this act does not automatically solidify the bond between the two of you.

Thus, saying "no" and preventing this action from happening when you're not ready to follow through with it does not mean that you are jeopardizing your relationship (hopefully, if the other half is understanding). Rather, having the confidence, courage, and intelligence to speak up and say no to sex insinuates that you have tremendous self-respect and a great sense of awareness. You are able to stand up for what you feel is best for your body at the time instead of following through with something that is full of the potential to have large consequences. This is a commendable mindset to have.

It is never easy to stand-up for yourself, especially when another person seems to confidently be taking initiative. It is frightening to imagine a scenario in your head when you would have to confidently say "no." Alternatively, you can simply tell yourself that you will never be in that type of situation, so why stress about how you think you would handle it?

However, the truth is, the moment may occur when you least expect it to. And when it does, do not back down. You have the power to deny sex no matter how old you are, no matter how long you have been involved with the other person, and no matter what you have been through with the other person.

Saying "no" has the potential to feel awkward, especially if you have never been in this situation before. Yet, after doing it, you will feel so proud of yourself. Setting and then complying with certain values, morals, and boundaries will help shape and define you as a person. Learning how to speak up for your body is extremely important; before others have respect for your body, you need to know how to confidently respect the body that is yours.

Sex is a part of life; without it, there would literally be no life, so of course it is going to happen eventually. It is important to realize that there are definitely a few conversations that need to occur first, precautions that need to be purchased and then figured out how to be used properly, a determined comfortable time and place, and then, most importantly and never to be forgotten, consent by all parties; thus, there are several steps leading up to this event that must be taken when both parties are ready to be mature and responsible.

Ladies, I hope that you never find yourself in an uncomfortable situation regarding lack of consent to sex. However, if you are in this situation, I want you to always remember that it is okay to say "no." Speaking up and setting boundaries for your body both demonstrate that you are confident, strong-willed, respectable, responsible, and intelligent; those qualities are much sexier than complying to the act of sex when you are not ready.