Hair

Hair has been a standard beauty of the ages; usually, the longer and thicker it is, the more aesthetically pleasing we find a woman. Over the years, my hair has been red, black, brown, dirty blond, bleach blond, purple, you name it. I’ve had it cut short. I’ve had extensions. I’ve had it all. However, the time and effort women put into our hair is absurd. Especially when compared to men, who usually roll out of bed and rock the “messy” look, or maybe they throw a little gel in their hair.

But no matter what style I’m rocking, it’s never been enough to keep me from changing it. If I have purple hair, I’m the rocker girl. If I’m blond, I’m sweet. Society has perceived me multiple ways, but no matter what other people think, I’m never satisfied with the way I look.

So, with that thought, I’ve been thinking about cutting my hair, all off. Only recently, it occurred to me that not having hair would change very little about the way I live, and yet, it would change everything. People would probably look at me and assume cancer, because what girl would willingly choose not to have one of the defining qualities that makes her beautiful? Well, here’s why: By a woman cutting off her hair, she is also cutting off the societal standards she’s been held to previously.

I’m not that brave enough to take the plunge just yet, but if I do, it will definitely be symbolic for me.

Prom

Do you know how many lives we could save if America stopped holding proms at our high schools and donated all the money that went into them? The average American family will spend $919 dollars on prom in 2015, according to a survey from Visa.

I mean, I’ll admit I spent $500 on my senior year prom dress, another $400 for junior prom, and $300 for a dress I wore for a prom that was not for my school.

All three were the same: I got excited because of all the hype about prom that movies have taught me—how prom was sure to be the best night of my life—how there would be romance and friendship—but to be completely honest, once there, you realize the huge life altering event is basically just a few hours of dancing and okay food.

Did I have fun? Absolutely. Would I rather have fed starving kids in underdeveloped countries? You betcha. But with the pressure to fit in and try to look as pretty as possible, girls learn that it’s all about the dress, the makeup, and the glamour. It’s about how much you spend to look better than the girl next to you does.

Weight

My God, this is such a big one. My weight, like many freshmen college students, has gone up 10 pounds since I left for college last year. Even though I’m okay with it (at least most of the time) and am still in the average BMI category, I am treated differently by my friends and family for those 10 pounds.

Right now, I’m still healthy, and I’m still me, but the people I knew before spending months away from college noticed the difference and had no problem pointing it out to me. For some reason, people constantly think you’re less happy when you pack on a few pounds, but they’re wrong. I’m much happier now, no matter if my metabolism is slowing. It’s a biological fact that happens to us all. And food is a great thing—especially the dessert bar at college—and I don’t want to get body shamed for indulging sometimes. If you can find a way to be comfortable with your body weight, then other people shouldn’t put you down for it.

One in five women struggle with eating disorder and 90 percent of them are between the ages of 12 and 25. We are tearing young girls down for not being sticks, and their self-esteem is suffering as a direct result of the media today.

Clothing

Being an outgoing college girl, there’s been plenty of times I’ve gone out in a more scandalous outfit and there have been plenty of other times I’ve been more reserved. Here’s the difference with how I’m treated: The more scandalous I dress, the more people talk about you and talk to you. The more reserved, the more people assume you’re not fun to be around, or at least not down for a good time. We are shunned if we wear too little, and we are shunned if we wear too much. There’s no real middle ground and when picking an outfit, it leaves me with the ultimate question: Am I dressing for myself or the people I’ll come in contact with over the course of the day?

So, where does that leave me: trying to be revealing without revealing too much. And the problem is? The girls who don’t wear as much clothing automatically are pegged as slutty and asking for it.

Let me state for the record that attire does not, in any way, shape, or form, have any direct impact on the choices a woman makes. You can make inferences, sure, but just because a female has on a short dress does not make it any reason to call her a slut, a whore, or any other of the horrible words we use to describe each other.

The worst is how more often than not, it’s the women using those terms for other women, which means we are doing the damage to ourselves. Can we make a conscious effort to make this stop, or will future generations succumb to the same degrading labels as we do today?

Briefly, let me address the #freethenipple campaign.

For those of you who don’t know, the free the nipple campaign is a rising stand against the censorship of women. The people who stand for it are fighting against any unequal rights between men and woman, mainly the discrimination against women going shirtless as compared to men.

While there are plenty of people who find this appalling, I would just like to point out that there was a time when men had to campaign to go shirtless. And unless you're against all shirtless-ness in general, there’s not much of a reason to think men can show their nipples and women can’t. We associate breasts with sex because of the media, but to be blatantly honest, they’re really just sacks of fat. Let’s push past the discomfort and create total equality. As a Neale Walsch once said, “Life begins at the end of your comfort zone.”

Insecurities

Famous people are shoved in our face on Instagram, Twitter, and magazines and from a young age, we feel something is wrong when we look in the mirror and don’t see a Kardashian reflected back at us.

It used to be that women were body shamed for not being skinny, which is definitely still around. But now, ever since Nicki Minaj’s “Anaconda” and Megan Trainer’s “All About That Bass,” popped up, women are being scrutinized for not having the right body type: the fuller body type. It doesn’t make a difference for women that the standard changed though, because we’re still being informed of what we should have, rather than do have.

Being insecure can feel like a disease. It’s inside of you, living, harvesting every dark or hateful thought you’ve had toward yourself. The disease leads you to think of your individual body as separate parts. The pieces you like—for me, it’s my lips—and the things you wish to get rid of—the size of my upper arms. But our bodies are one package. We need to learn to love them and accept them, and the majority of the media will tell you to forget that. They will point to a product that will make you happier and more beautiful, and you will buy it. Makeup. Nail polish. Extensions. Moisturizer. Age rewind creams. So on and so forth. The media is selling fantasy, not caring that it's wrong to treat a person as anything other than what they are: a human being.

Everything about our perception of women has been embedded into our brains since we were babies. The way the media views us has defined our generation, leading 40-60 percent of elementary girls to be worried about their weight or becoming too fat. There seems very little we can do to change the way we feel about ourselves. But small steps, like deciding not to wear makeup out or leaving your hair its natural color, may be tiny steps to get us there. Where is there? A place where attraction comes second, and what’s inside comes first.