I always thought something was wrong with me since I grew up without a nonbiological sibling. When I say this, I mean having a friend that feels like they are my sister or brother, or as some call it their “other half”. This was because the characters in movies, heroes and villains, and most of my peers had that kind of bond with someone. I never really heard about people without one.

Thinking I am unlikeable, boring, and even abnormal took quite a toll on me throughout my teenage years. I often felt alone and yearned for that type of friend. I used to even try lying to myself and saying someone was that person, but really they had someone else. Feeling this way made me change my personality, attitude, and even appearance into someone I was not. I hid my true interests and only allowed myself to speak about them when I found it was acceptable to the ‘popular’ or ‘liked’ kids.

In high school, I started to transform. It ended with me being someone I did not like since I was depressed from feeling lonely (and other events that are unrelated). I showed some of who I was, but it ended up making me question who I was. I struggled to let go of trying to fit in since I still did not have my “other half”. Every time I did seem to get close to someone, it seemed we distanced due to myself being different than most.

Today, I am who I am. I found out having that “other half” is not for everyone. It is okay to have a variety of friends with similar interests even if you do not get as close like others. I learned I have always seemed to strive for independence along with wanting to conform with society’s social construct of what friendship should be. Not everyone needs someone to be who they are. I am happy with what I like and no longer put on a mask for that.

I am not alone in this. I know there are others just like me who have/had this issue. It may not be the same feelings and actions like mine, but they are out there. You are not alone. You do not need that “other half” to complete you. Through all of this, I learned that being independent is more of a gift than an inconvenience. Having this type of friendship seems nice (I still believe it is), but it is not ever a necessity.