It's hard to believe you've been gone four months. Never did I imagine that I would be sitting here thinking of what to say. I don't think anyone imagined it. Because things like that shouldn't happen. And they definitely shouldn't happen to someone like you. I remember waking up to the sound of my sisters crying in the living room. I didn't realize what had happened until my dad walked into my room and told me that you were gone. Before I had even started my day, you were gone and you weren't coming back. I don't think I've ever felt something that painful in my life. It was like my heart was being ripped out of my chest. I didn't think it could be real. There had to be a mistake. I was angry and filled with grief as I came to the realization that you weren't going to come back. The week that followed was hell. I was trying to be strong for my sisters, who had lost a dear friend. I didn't want to break down. I was trying to be OK for them. I didn't have the courage to go see your parents, though my family was at your house all that week to be there for them. I knew I wouldn't be able to handle it. I never imagined my first visitation and my first funeral would be for a 14-year-old girl who had her entire life ahead of her.
There are days where it doesn't seem real that you're gone; that it's all just a bad dream and I'll wake up and you'll be sitting with your parents at church or sitting in the choir loft waiting to sing. You had a beautiful voice, even though it was quiet. It doesn't seem fair. I think of how you should've been getting ready for your freshman year of high school, worrying about how you were going to find your classes. You should've been running for the cross country team and experiencing your first real homecoming. You should've been at the dance with my sister. There are so many things that you'll never be able to do and I think that's the hardest thing for me to realize. I won't get to see you grow up.
I hope you know how many people you impacted. You left behind so many people who miss you. For being 14, you were the most caring, kind and wise person I knew. You always put others before yourself and you made them realize just how wanted they were. You were quick with a smile, even though most people wouldn't dare smile with braces. But you didn't care. You made others happy before you thought about yourself. Like they said at your funeral, you were a supernova. I can't think of anything better to describe the impact you left on people. Though your life was brief, it burned brightly and people couldn't help but look at you.
There isn't a day that I don't think of you. You always cross my mind. I just want you to know how much you're missed and that so many people love you. Your absence isn't one that can be filled. It's always going to be there. But I'm glad that I was able to know you, even if for a short time in the grand scheme of things. I just wish I could've had a little while longer.
