I Will Never Be Good Enough
Start writing a post
Lifestyle

I Will Never Be Good Enough

Between the voices of friends, family, God and my own insecurities, I have discovered my obsession and inability with being just as I am.

501
I Will Never Be Good Enough
Marjorie Anne Foster

I am not good enough.

My own mind struggles to believe that I am enough a lot of the time, and I can feel myself convinced that the person sitting here is not what the world wants or needs.

This past week I heard the voices of my friends and loved ones louder than I could hear my own. Of course I value what they have to say, but when I found myself actually getting my nails done so that I might look more put together to the people around me, I realized the voices I have been turning to have accumulated too much weight.

Through the influence of social media and conversations with my friends, I let the voices of so many others define and reconstruct the way I view myself. When I started to identify with the words of others, I only let myself believe the bad, and as a result, I have found myself empty.

I forgot to do something for my mom. I wasn’t there for a friend. I didn’t get an A on an assignment. Fail, after fail, after fail. I became exhausted by what the world was saying about my life and retreated to a dark version of myself.

A friend told me to turn to the Lord, but my current posture towards life left me feeling like I had nothing left to give or receive. I knew that I hadn’t been praying like I should have, and I hadn’t listened to God in ways that I should have. I couldn’t handle facing another person I had let down.

I have always been plagued with the idea that I am in a race to perfection. If I don’t obtain the ideal body, top grades, the greatest friends, and flawless relationships, I will fail and never be forgiven. When this weight became too much this week, I decided to face the punishment the Lord had for me for believing all these lies and refusing to let Him in my life.

As soon as I began to pray, I realized that all the voices in my head not only morphed my own identity of myself, but also the identity of God. I thought that I didn’t have enough strength to take on what He wanted me to do, or I needed to do what everyone else was doing around me, but I realized He wanted the opposite. I know I have been told that the Lord only wants your heart, but to me that was another thing that I had failed at working towards.

I let the words my friends spoke over me be the truest thing about me when God was telling me something totally different.

I am a child of God. (John 1:12)

I am not a mistake. (Psalm 139:15-16)

I was chosen when God planned creation. (Ephesians 1:11-12)

I have a purpose. (Job 42:2)

I am loved. (John 3:16)

So no. I will never be pretty enough, smart enough, or talented enough to feel fulfilled by the world or my own standards. But I will delight in the realization that I do not work for acceptance from this world, but I will work for the freedom the Lord has for me in His presence. God does not have the eyes of humans and does not see my failures as a part of my identity, and for that I eternally grateful.

Although the task is hard, I want to be able to choose the voices I identify with every day, and today I chose God.

I encourage you not to take my word for this. The Bible says so much about who we are, yet we turn to so many other things and so many other voices to find what our purpose is in life. Take a step back from stressing over your school work, job, politics, or family, and remind yourself why you are here and what a blessing you are to this earth through Jesus. You are a daughter or son of a most-high King, and I hope you chose to believe that this week.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Student Life

Waitlisted for a College Class? Here's What to Do!

Dealing with the inevitable realities of college life.

39774
college students waiting in a long line in the hallway
StableDiffusion

Course registration at college can be a big hassle and is almost never talked about. Classes you want to take fill up before you get a chance to register. You might change your mind about a class you want to take and must struggle to find another class to fit in the same time period. You also have to make sure no classes clash by time. Like I said, it's a big hassle.

This semester, I was waitlisted for two classes. Most people in this situation, especially first years, freak out because they don't know what to do. Here is what you should do when this happens.

Keep Reading...Show less
a man and a woman sitting on the beach in front of the sunset

Whether you met your new love interest online, through mutual friends, or another way entirely, you'll definitely want to know what you're getting into. I mean, really, what's the point in entering a relationship with someone if you don't know whether or not you're compatible on a very basic level?

Consider these 21 questions to ask in the talking stage when getting to know that new guy or girl you just started talking to:

Keep Reading...Show less
Lifestyle

Challah vs. Easter Bread: A Delicious Dilemma

Is there really such a difference in Challah bread or Easter Bread?

24344
loaves of challah and easter bread stacked up aside each other, an abundance of food in baskets
StableDiffusion

Ever since I could remember, it was a treat to receive Easter Bread made by my grandmother. We would only have it once a year and the wait was excruciating. Now that my grandmother has gotten older, she has stopped baking a lot of her recipes that require a lot of hand usage--her traditional Italian baking means no machines. So for the past few years, I have missed enjoying my Easter Bread.

Keep Reading...Show less
Adulting

Unlocking Lake People's Secrets: 15 Must-Knows!

There's no other place you'd rather be in the summer.

950291
Group of joyful friends sitting in a boat
Haley Harvey

The people that spend their summers at the lake are a unique group of people.

Whether you grew up going to the lake, have only recently started going, or have only been once or twice, you know it takes a certain kind of person to be a lake person. To the long-time lake people, the lake holds a special place in your heart, no matter how dirty the water may look.

Keep Reading...Show less
Student Life

Top 10 Reasons My School Rocks!

Why I Chose a Small School Over a Big University.

129952
man in black long sleeve shirt and black pants walking on white concrete pathway

I was asked so many times why I wanted to go to a small school when a big university is so much better. Don't get me wrong, I'm sure a big university is great but I absolutely love going to a small school. I know that I miss out on big sporting events and having people actually know where it is. I can't even count how many times I've been asked where it is and I know they won't know so I just say "somewhere in the middle of Wisconsin." But, I get to know most people at my school and I know my professors very well. Not to mention, being able to walk to the other side of campus in 5 minutes at a casual walking pace. I am so happy I made the decision to go to school where I did. I love my school and these are just a few reasons why.

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments