The dazzling horizon stretched out before you, morning fog fading at your feet, and miles spanning between you and the ground. You catch your breath and your companion goes to sit on the ledge. As you walk over to him, you suddenly realize how easy it would be to push him off. All it would take is one little shove.
Where did that come from? You, my dear hypothetical climber, would never hurt someone. You run a puppy shelter that donates all of its funds to starving, crippled orphans. Also, you're vegan. Maybe there's something wrong with you. How long until you're strangling puppies and crippling those orphans? This latent homicidal urge will only get worse if we don't—oh, never mind. Yeah, it's nothing. Turns out everyone has thoughts like that.
Intrusive thoughts are defined as "an unwelcome involuntary thought, image, or unpleasant idea that may become an obsession, is upsetting or distressing, and can feel difficult to manage or eliminate" [1]. They aren't indicative of how we feel, so don't worry about your subconscious being sadistic. They range from infrequent nuisances to naggingly persistent. What's important is to accept that these thoughts are mere flashes of temptation. Worrying, obsessing, or lingering on these thoughts will only make them more distressing.
It's in our nature to imagine all possible scenarios, especially the bad ones. I mentioned pushing someone off a cliff because it's a startlingly common feeling. Psychologists refer to it as "High Place Phenomenon" and it manifests in the desire to push or jump off a cliff. Interestingly, studies have found that feeling the sudden urge to jump off a ledge actually affirms your desire to live. How can thoughts of suicide strengthen your desire to live?
Researchers at CPNP discovered that "individuals who report experiencing the phenomenon are not necessarily suicidal; rather, the experience of HPP may reflect their sensitivity to internal cues and actually affirm their will to live" [2]. I have a fear of heights, so whenever I go somewhere high, I imagine falling off. Whether I imagine falling off or jumping off, that thought informs my caution and keeps me away from ledges. People who briefly think about driving off bridges are simply responding to the safety signal of potential danger.
Intrusive thoughts emerge because of the way our brains repress thoughts. It's like the pink elephant phenomenon. If I told you not to think about pink elephants, your subconscious will continue to think about the thing it has to avoid. This obviously results in thinking about the elephants. Similarly, part of your brain is dedicated to suppressing weird, unacceptable thoughts. You don't really want to French-kiss your aunt. Or, I hope you don't.
What about people who do drive off bridges? They already have suicidal impulses and likely planned their suicide. There's no correlation between intrusive thoughts and suicidal or homicidal tendencies [3]. Since everyone feels wicked impulses, it's only harmful if you feel guilty about them. Intrusive thoughts are dangerous for people with OCD or anxiety disorders because they try to repress these thoughts, which only makes them worse.
As a Christian, it's easy to worry that God is judging you for these thoughts. In Matthew 5:28, Jesus says: "But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart." Fortunately, there's a distinction between looking at someone lustfully and briefly imagining them naked. One is the subconscious bubbling up and the other is a conscious decision. Everyone has intrusive thoughts, so don't worry. God can probably discern between impulse and desire.
