He knows your chipotle order by heart.
He has eaten your burrito bowl off of the table so many times, he knows the difference between when they use the mild salsa and the hot.
He won't sext other b*tches.
No need to worry if some sketchy horse looking dog is sliding into your man's DMs. No thumbs, no problem.
You can make him sleep on the floor.
If he's taking up way too much room in bed, you can make him sleep on the floor, no questions asked.
When you're together, you have his full attention.
That's right. No video games, smart phones, or magazines to distract him.
He is always happy to see you.
Think of a time when he wasn't ecstatic when you walked in the door. Yeah, you can't.
He enjoys long, romantic, walks.
The beach, the park, the city, he doesn't have a preference.
He never says your cooking is bad.
Unless it's a lemon, he'll pretty much eat anything you cook for him. And will do so happily.
You're always in charge.
As the old saying goes, "Don't bite the hand that feeds you." He knows his place in the relationship.
He is mature for his age.
It has only taken two years to train him. That's record time.
He is always there to pick you up when you're down.
Meaning, he licks the tears off your face when your peasant human ex boyfriend breaks your heart.
He listens to your complaints.
About the guy at work who can't seem to speak at a normal volume. About your fetish with adults using the wrong forms of "there," "they're" and "their." About your "friend" forgetting your birthday.
He won't care if you lick the spoon for the peanut butter, and stick it back in the jar.
Actually, he will encourage such behavior.
You watch your favorite TV shows together.
He won't bug you to put on "Fast N' Loud" or "Ridiculousness" when he knows damn well there is a new episode of "Grey's Anatomy" tonight.
He is subtly romantic.
Like when he steals your dirty underwear out of the laundry.
He wears the clothes you buy him.
Even the banana costume.
You always get the last word.
A boyfriend that doesn't talk back is a boyfriend that I can get used to.
He is spontaneous.
Welcome home from work! I pooped on the new carpet!
He'll never forget you.
Going on a mission trip to Africa? Okay, I'll be here when you get back.
You can never be mad at him.
Come on, look at those eyes.
Dogs>Humans
