Maybe it will be on the night of the biggest party of the year. Or maybe it will be the night you and your boyfriend celebrate your one year anniversary. Or just maybe it’ll be like one of those old school movies and will happen on your prom night. Whatever night it is, the night you lose your virginity will surely be one you will never forget. It can happen before you even realize it. One minute, you and a boy are just kissing and then all the sudden, it escalates. And then in a blink of an eye, you’ve done something that will forever change your life.

But maybe it’s not that big of a deal. I mean, everyone’s doing it, right? And maybe it won’t change that much? Wrong. Because even if it changes nothing else in your life, you were a virgin before and now you aren’t. And that is a bigger change that you may be prepared for. So what if everyone else is doing it? You decide how important things are in your life. If having sex at an early age doesn’t seem important to you, then go for it if that’s really what you want. But understand that it will change you. When you decide to have sex, you won’t just lose your virginity. You’ll also lose a part of your innocence. And innocence is one thing that the world has no problem taking away from you, so don’t just give it away like it’s an old pair of jeans that you don’t wear anymore. Take care of yourself and your innocence because it is one thing that you can never get back. Cherish this time when you don’t have to make such big decisions and don’t give yourself one more thing to worry about.

It seems unusual, but one of the biggest reasons I am choosing to wait is because I don’t want to add any more stress to my life than I have to. With everything going on with school, friends, work, and playing a college sport, knowing that I will for sure be getting my period every month is a guarantee that I don’t take for granted. If I am a few days late, then I know that I am just a few days late. I don’t have to start thinking about all the “what if’s” and I don’t have to make that anxious drive to the pharmacy to buy a pregnancy test that I am too young to be buying. I also never have to make that daunting appointment with my doctor because something is not right or doesn’t feel good. Sex is an adult action. So unless you are prepared to handle every possible outcome like a responsible adult, then you shouldn’t be having it. And understanding all the different outcomes is a big part of being an adult, too.

I think it’s a fair statement to say that we are all aware that having sex can lead to pregnancy. If you aren’t, then you not only need to abstain from sex, but you also need to have a long talk with your parents and consider taking your health class again. But the point is, even though we all know it can happen, we like to pretend it won’t happen to us. Condoms are only 99% effective. So what if you’re a part of that 1%? There is only one method of birth control that is 100% effective every time and that’s not having sex. Seems pretty simple, doesn’t it? That’s because it is! If you don’t want to have a baby, then don’t have sex. And let’s not forget about those three little letters that no one wants to hear, STD. Even though most people act like pregnancy is the worst possible result of sex, ending up with an STD can be so much worse. Rashes, warts, cuts, bumps, all of these sound painful and disgusting no matter where they are, so just imagine them on the most sensitive area of your body. Pretty gross, right? So why even risk it? If you don’t want an STD, then don’t have sex. It really is that simple.

But like most things in life, people will find loop holes for everything. Like what if I only have sex with my boyfriend who is also a virgin? Then there isn’t a risk for an STD! But guess what? Your chances of pregnancy won’t go down because your lack of experience. And STD’s are still a risk too because your boyfriend, or girlfriend for that matter, could be lying to you. I know you don’t want to think of that possibility, but the only person who you can be sure is telling the truth is yourself. So be true to your word. I know it seems like just sleeping with people your dating is a good solution, but it’s really not. The likelihood that you will end up marrying the first person you date is not very high. It does happen, but not very often. So just having sex with your boyfriend or girlfriend could still mean you end up having multiple partners before you’re even old enough to seriously consider marriage.

And if your decision to wait is something that your boyfriend or girlfriend is not OK with, then maybe they aren’t the person you should be dating. Wanting and then choosing to have sex before marriage doesn’t make someone a bad person at all. Deciding to have sex is a very personal choice that everyone has to make on their own and in their own time. But if you and the person you’re dating have opposing views, it will affect your relationship more than you think. Lucky for me, that is another thing I don’t have to worry about. Another big part of why I am choosing to wait is because my boyfriend not only accepts my decision, but supports me in it. Even though making the decision to wait can be easy, following through on it is anything but that. There will be peer pressure. One of the hardest parts of waiting that I’ve encountered is being the only person in most of my friend groups that hasn’t had sex. Even though you think it won’t, it does separate you from people. When my friends talk about their different experiences or different partners, they have a conversation that I can’t really be a part of. And that can make me feel left out or lonely sometimes. But I know that at the end of the day, I want my first time to be special and that it will be worth waiting for.

There really are so many reasons why you should wait until marriage to have sex. And even if you take all of those other possible outcomes out, there is still one reason that I believe is stronger than any other. And that is the ability to show your future spouse love before you even know them. I know it may seem weird now, but one day, you will meet that special person. And do you really want to risk ruining your love story by having to tell him or her that you have an STD from a past relationship or possibly even worse, from some crazy night in college that you barely remember? I can promise you that that will kill the romance pretty quick. Even if you get out lucky and never get an STD, do you really want to have to tell your spouse about all your past partners? That is a conversation that I never want to have. And I know that I certainly don’t want to hear that my husband has slept with multiple different women either. So follow the golden rule. If that is something you wouldn’t want your future husband to do, then you shouldn’t do it either. It may seem crazy, but just think of how strong your marriage will be if you start showing love to each other before you’ve even met. That’s a commitment stronger than any piece of gold or silver that you wear on your finger.

Even though many people express regret on having sex too early, society continues to set this precedent. But I have never heard a single person say that they regret waiting. And that is strong enough evidence for me. And when you think about it, you can’t really regret something that you never did. I can also almost guarantee that you won’t regret keeping your life as stress-free as you could. Living in the moment may seem fun, but it’s only fun in that specific moment and you’ve got the rest of your life still. Don’t make a decision today that you aren’t ready to pay for in all the years to come. So maybe your night won’t be prom night or the night of your first anniversary. But just think of how special it will be to tell your husband that your night will be your wedding night and that will be one of the first things you two get to share as your start your life together. I don’t know about you, but I can’t think of a love much stronger than that.