I am sure that at some point in your life, you have been unsure of a decision that you were about to make and wanted to ask one of your friends or family members what they thought about the potential decision. In the long run however, you need to be totally sure of your decision because you think it is right, not because someone said you should.
As adults, we are forced to make decisions that will effect us for the rest of our lives. If we always listened to the inputs of our friends and family members we may end up living a life that we do not necessarily want, but a life that other people think we need.
An example of this is when you are considering dating someone. Yes, you might want your friends and family’s approval, but you should not sacrifice your own happiness for it. When dating someone, it is about the feelings that you have and if they return the feelings. I understand that family members and friends typically have your best interest at heart, but having them not like your significant other will not cause the end of the relationship.
Another example of this is when you decide what university you want to go to or if you want to pursue a career instead of going to college. Some parents may try to persuade their kids to do things such as going to a university that is close to home or try to persuade their kids to join the military. Parents’ opinions definitely do matter, but you just need to know where you stand and what you personally believe in.
In general, you need to examine your life and see whose opinions you truly value. Not everybody that is in your life should have a say in the things that you do with your life or who is in your life. This is a lesson that I had to learn the hard way.
I let some of my “friends” dictate my happiness when in a few years their opinion did not matter. I would encourage all of you to have a few select friends that you really care about their opinion and stick to those people when you need validation about a decision you are thinking about making.
Those friends that confide in you and you confide in them will be the type of friends that will not pass along the information that you told them in confidence. It is all about finding the right kind of people that will be a positive influence on your life instead of being a person who hinders you and your life.
In my life, I have almost given up an opportunity of happiness because it could be frowned upon by society. However, looking back at it, I realized how wrong I would have been to let people that I do not even know give me a standard as to what I should say when I should do certain things, and who I should be.
Overall, you should have a select group of friends or family members that you turn to when you need validation on a decision. I understand the need to have someone you know tell you that you are doing the right thing. However, make sure that the people that you have who you allow to play a role in your decision-making process truly do have your best interest at heart. Follow your gut instinct – more times than not by doing this you will make a decision that you will be more than happy with.