It's pretty obvious that everyone's got a favorite house or two going into recruitment. Your reaction when you walk out of a house the first day says it all, even if you don't verbally say anything. Your rho gammas know, PHC exec board knows, and you know. It's a beautiful thing.
But here's what isn't beautiful: feeling like you have to like a house. Whether you're a legacy, you have friends in another house, your brother's girlfriend is in a house; it doesn't matter. You aren't joining this house for them, you're joining it for you. If you feel like you need to fake it, don't. Because after Bid Day, when you're in a house for four years, or two years, or however long, you won't want to fake it.
There are so many advantages to a sorority. The house isn't a house, it's a home. At least, that's what it's supposed to be. You have every right to have expectations. You should expect to be able to have a terrible day, and end up leaving the house with a huge grin on your face. You should expect to have spontaneous ice cream sundae lines in the kitchen and you should expect to almost fall of a bunk bed, or actually fall off one once or twice. You should expect that you will be offered anything once you ask, whether that's food, clothes, or a ride home. You should expect a train of girls who won't let you walk home alone. You should expect to remember why you joined your house every time you see a new pledge class get initiated.
You should expect some bumpy turns: working to keep up the required GPA, the amount of work it takes to hold a position, and running for something and losing it. It's not all easy, but it's so worth it. You should expect that this new group full of talented, responsible women are now your support system. When each of the girls in the house joined, they desired the same thing. They joined their house because they got it. You should join a house because it's where you feel you will get it, too.
Instead of going in with favorites, go in looking for these qualities.
1. Honesty
There's nothing like having a solid, honest conversation with an active from whatever house you're at about how much you've sweat today or that you're terrified of your Public Relations teacher this semester. When you have that conversation, take a mental note. This is your girl.
2. Inspiration
It's not about whoever can brag the most, or who can show you their trophy room. It's about the girl that truly inspires you the most. You look up to her like a freshman looks up to a senior even though neither of you are a freshman or a senior. She's traveled and done mission trips. She's worked, taken full units, and held a position on the exec board. Maybe she hasn't done these things, but you can tell she's the backbone of the house. She's the behind the scenes, never asks for any recognition type of girl. She may not be wonder woman, either. But she's your wonder woman. She shows you that it's possible to be both human and successful in her chapter.
3. Sisterhood
Does it feel to you like home? Does that sound as cliche to you as it felt to me when I typed it just now? Good. There's some sort of gut feeling when you walk into the house whose bid you end up accepting. Whether it's the sisters who are tearing up during pref, or singing extra loud during your philanthropy day, you just know. You can tell that these girls genuinely love you, and you will fit in. That's the sisterhood you want to join. That's the sisterhood that will last.
4. Humor
Even if you don't mesh with all the girls you've met from this house, it doesn't matter. They all have a sense of humor and laugh with one another and encourage you to laugh with them. They include you in the joke. Laughter is the best medicine, especially when you're stressed. These are the girls you want to laugh with.
5. Sincerity
If you can tell someone is struggling to talk to you, it doesn't work. It won't work. First impressions are something that are severely underappreciated. They can usually tell you a lot about the person you're meeting. Chances are, if you think they're faking it, they are. No one deserves to feel that way, and I'm sure that the sorority sister talking to you would not want you to feel that way if she knew you did.
Take it from someone who has been through a few recruitment rounds: I've seen girls come and go. I know one thing for certain. As Lady Antebellum would say, "Let your heart, sweetheart, be your compass in the dark." Recruitment can feel like the dark, but your heart knows where the light at the end of the tunnel is. Follow it.
