I'm just going to throw this out here for all of you wishing to grow up faster. Don't. When I was younger, my mom always told me not to wish I was older than I was. She said time flies, and enjoy "now" while it's here. But I was 13 and of course knew it all, so I ignored this advice. I wanted to be 16 so I could drive. Then I wanted to be 18 to be seen as an adult. Now, I'm 19 and kind of want all this new found responsibility to just go away. There's this magical word when you become older known as "bills." I haven't even scratched the surface dealing with these satanic things, but so far I hate them. Anyway, the main reason for this article is not to have you think I want to be 13 and worry free again. That's just childish and not reality. "Neverland" doesn't exist, and even if it did, I'm sure Peter Pan would get annoyed with it after awhile. What this article is about is what I realized as I was doing the dreaded thing called "Growing Up." I learned how to be Happy. Happy with myself, my current situation, and happy with the uncertainty of God's plan for my life. Here's a quote by Will Rodgers I found that sums up my childhood before I came to this great realization:
"Too many people spend money they haven't earned, to buy things they don't want, to impress people they don't like" - Will Rodgers.
A few articles ago, I referenced a poem "After Awhile". One of the lines in this poem is that after awhile you learn that "company doesn't mean security." I wish I knew this back in middle school and high school. My little sister is about to enter middle school, and already she comes to me with some of her insecurities...some of the same I used to experience myself. My heart aches for her, because I know how powerful that insecurity and worry can be. I know that it feels like a ball and chain around your ankle...and you have to drag it through everything you do in life. I remember feeling that if I didn't have friends, then who was I as a person? Eat lunch alone? Are you kidding me? I remember deciding it was simpler not to eat. Go to that friend's bonfire and the whole class is going? No way. She is only inviting me out of politeness. She's way more pretty and popular than me-I can't do that. And if I did go, I was worried constantly on impressing and fitting in with the people I was with.
What a way to live life. I wish I could go back and yell at my younger self. I missed out on so much of life because I was scared and I would overthink everything. But, the great news is I overcame or even "outgrew it" I could argue. The one good thing about growing older, is that one (hopefully!) grows wiser as well. I remembered the truth in what was told to me my whole life: God loves me. He made me and has a plan for my life. I am perfect in His eyes. Why would I want to change anything about myself? Once I realized this was really true, the chains feel off. I was free and it felt amazing. I didn't do everything with the worry of what people would think of me in the back of my mind. Not that I just speak without thinking, and didn't care about my reputation, but I just don't change who I am in order to "fit in" or "be accepted" by others. I learned how it feels to dance in the rain and to understand that life's too short to not live it.
Because I started with a quote, I'll end with one too.
"Peace. It does not mean to be in a place where there is no noise, trouble or hard work. It means to be in the midst of those things and still be calm in your heart."
