One of the most interesting and impactful things I've heard recently was a statement that said something along the lines of "don't say I love you just to hear it back." I took a second to read that statement again. Don’t say I love you to another person, just looking for that statement in return. Don’t say it for yourself. This completely changed my outlook on those words. It made me question why I said them. What was I looking for?
Was I looking for assurance? Was I looking for clarity? Was I looking for confirmation? Was I looking to make myself feel better? Was I simply just being selfish?
Or was I looking to do this for another person and just let them know how much of an impact they have on me? How they make me feel, and just truly how much they matter. The last of course being the most important. The true and only reason you should say I love you to anyone.
There was a period of my life, in which I have never actually talked about, where I wouldn’t say I love you to anyone. I had convinced myself that the people I loved always left for various reasons, and since I didn’t want anyone else to leave, I stopped saying it. This time was short lived and stupid, but I was very young. I don’t think I even truly understood love at the point, let alone was able to make judgments about it.
The point of this all is that these words shouldn’t be taken lightly. They shouldn’t just be said, they should be meant from the bottom of your heart. Mean it with every fiber of your being. Consider what you are saying and most importantly, why. When I say I love you, I mean it, but that doesn't mean that it is always the only reason. Sometimes, I think all of us want to hear it back to be reassured, but that shouldn't guide us. I have stopped doing this.
I stopped allowing myself to be fully controlled by what I wanted to hear. Instead I tried to focus on letting others know how I feel, to give another this feeling instead of focusing on yourself.
In addition to this, stop saying I love you too. That “too” takes away a lot from what you are saying. Do not feel that because someone said they loved you, that you must respond by saying "I love you too". If you don’t feel that don’t say it. But that “too”, in my opinion, downgrades the words. It is a statement that is said simply because another said it to you, partially forced. You can simply respond with “I love you” as well. No "too" necessary.
I stopped saying I love you too. I stopped saying I love you to another for my own benefit. And through all of this, I discovered another layer of love. Another layer of truly giving to another person.
