When you talk to your boyfriend, what do you say to him? When you have another conversation, listen to the words and your tone. What do hear? Were you positive? I was talking to my boyfriend and I barely said anything positive to him. I said I love you but that was at the end of our call. We talked about mundane things, nothing special. Well, I did. He told me that he loved my laugh and he missed me. I only said it back.
It got me thinking about how often he uses positive words versus how often I do.
The gap was kind of sad, honestly. It's not that I don't think positive things but I realized I need to say them more. Being positive to your man and proud of what he accomplishes is important because it creates a healthy baseline for the relationship.
Here are eight positive words that you can say to your boyfriend:
When you're proud of him
I, personally, need to say I'm proud of my boyfriend more often. He does a lot to be proud of and I need to let him know I think that what he is doing is special and amazing. Adding this word to your boyfriend vocabulary is really important. Men need to hear proud a lot more in daily life because it isn't said enough. Men don't hear it when they need to hear it most, so let's say it for every achievement we can, giving them a boost of confidence.
When you need to remind him you love him
I love you. Sounds simple, right? But we don't say it enough. We don't say it spontaneously enough either. It's not enough to say it when your boyfriend is going or you are hanging up the phone. No, you need to say it in the middle of the night or when he is watching TV with that adorable face he makes as he listens. You need to say it even when he isn't around to hear it. Because love is such a powerful word and it can be felt across time and space.
When you need to tell him he's important to you
You are important to me. Important is different from love because this person means a lot to you regardless of romantic feelings. Your boyfriend can be important to how you function or live your life. They can be important to your mental health or they can just be, very simply, important. Being important is such a powerful thing because then your boyfriend will feel needed and wanted in your relationship.
When you need to tell him he's appreciated
I appreciate you. I was struck dumb when this was first uttered to me. It was from a kid in college who I would grab another handout for because he was always late. I would fill some info out as we went along so he could catch up. He came in one day and he had missed a lot of the class and I handed him the paper and said, "We have a 'pop' quiz tomorrow on this." He turned to me and looked me in the eyes and said, "I appreciate you." Thank you would have sufficed and I would have shrugged it off but appreciate struck me in a way I was surprised at. Thank you is important but appreciate is even more powerful and heartfelt. This word is a definite to add into your boyfriend vocabulary.
When a little "please" will go a long way
I know some of you will laugh at this but we spend so much time with a person, we stop saying please and thank you. Please is so crucial because it shows how you remember to be positive and kind when asking for something. Instead of "Hey, grab me that blanket," you can say, "Please, grab me that blanket." It turns a command into a request.
When he looks ~extra~ cute
"You look handsome today!" Men tell women all the time that they look great, even when the woman doesn't feel like it. We assume most guys don't have that insecurity so we don't say it as much as we should. When they wake up you can lightly say, "Hey, sexy." Or when you see them all bundled up in cold weather, you can comment how cute they look. It doesn't have to be deep but it should be genuine. I love telling my boyfriend how handsome and attractive he is to me. I love seeing the effect my positive words make on him.
When you miss him
I miss you. It doesn't have to be because you are separated. I say I miss my boyfriends smiles, laugh, and hugs. I miss him after he just left. I tell him all the time how much I miss him. Maybe it sounds clingy and maybe it is but I'd rather be clingy than come off as uncaring. When I tell him I miss him, he loves it. His eyes light up and he smiles and that's worth all the clingy comments I get.
When you're there for him
I am here [for you]. Such a powerful phrase. Being present in a relationship is crucial. Life gets crazy and other things come up, but making time to listen to your boyfriends day and what happened is so important. Taking time to listen and be there is going to mean so much to your boyfriend. It can be the "I'm here for you," in a trying time or it can be "I'm here for you," tonight and every night. I'm here anytime you need me.