I have no problem admitting I’ve driven down the road half singing half shouting “Love Myself” at my steering wheel. You know, the feel-good, power ballad by Hailee Stienfeld. Maybe you catch a few strange looks from the cars beside you as you sing into your Diet Coke. Or maybe that’s just me… “HEY, gonna love myself, no, I don’t need anybody else.” Seriously, this song was made to be ridiculously catchy (tell me you didn’t just sing those words as you read them). Disclaimer, if you look up the lyrics you might actually find that the song seems a bit sexual in nature, but toss that aside for my sake, and focus with me on lovin’ yoself! You rock. Let that really sink in.

The message of self-confidence is one we can find anywhere. From the music we listen to, to the Netflix shows we binge, self-confidence is trending, and it’s about dang time too! But this isn’t an article about self-confidence.

Loving yourself. Let’s talk about it, in the aspect that isn’t your self-confidence. How do you show yourself love? Do you work out? Treat yourself to tacos on Taco Tuesday? Take just one hour to relax every day? Loving yourself is not just how you view yourself in the mirror, it’s also how you take care of yourself, from the simplest of ways, to the more complex matters. Usually when I’m stressed, I shop. It doesn’t have to be anything big. I’ve actually gone out, bought some Chapstick, and felt tons better. But what about the situations where buying some Chapstick isn’t enough?

Two years ago, I went through a rather intense college transfer. It was not expected or desired. I lost the life I had grown accustomed to, the town I had grown to love, the friends I held so close to my heart, and I moved back home. What happened over the next year was a terrible nightmare of solitude. So right now you’re either thinking, wow, Reagan is so dramatic, or wow, I feel sorry for Reagan. So please allow me to clarify.

I went through a phase where I hated myself. I didn’t love myself at all. I was mad at myself and full of resentment. This led me into a depression that consumed me for a year. I wasn’t pleasant to be around, I didn’t make any friends, and I was stuck in a horrible rut between my happiest self and finally moving on to become that self again. We can skip all the details and move on to the day it clicked. The day I finally started loving myself again. But it was different. I loved myself too much. And this is what I want us to talk about.

Loving myself too much didn’t mean I was conceited, it meant I took that one line in a fun, light-hearted song, and I made it ugly. Oh I was going to love myself alright, and no, I didn’t need anybody else! Except I did. I needed my friends and my family. I needed them. I had alienated myself, and spent a year trapped in anger, stuck in a mindset of being so alone. The reality was I did it to myself. I pushed people away. I pushed them away when I hated myself, and once I started to “love” myself again, I still pushed them away. I came out of a dark place thinking I could fix my own problems, which only left me attempting to put myself back together all on my own. I refused the help of others, because I had convinced myself it would be some sort of major accomplishment if I could just do this without anyone’s help. I had jaded my own heart toward other people! Tell me how that’s loving myself?

The day I learned true love for myself was the day I accepted that yes, I do need somebody else, and lots of somebodies! And we shouldn’t be afraid to admit we can’t do it alone. Don’t get me wrong here, self-empowerment is everything! This whole self-confidence movement is beautiful, and one I could not support more. Love yourself!! Like I said earlier, you rock! But know when you can’t do it alone. And why should you have to? Let your friends and family be there for you, and love yourself enough to know when you need your support system. All this to be summed up by another much more popular song that says, “I get by with a little help from my friends.” I love me. But I didn’t get here by myself. So in a way I suppose this is a shoutout to my friends (because yes, they are amazing), but it’s also me begging you to love yourself enough to let others love you too! Why? Just like L’Oreal says, “Because you’re worth it.”