I could really begin this article with the sob story that was my former relationship, but I am going to save you the grief and cut to the chase. I was once with someone who treated me poorly, manipulated me, controlled me, and really made me hate myself and everything about me. Blunt and a little aggressive of a statement, but it’s true. It was a really bad relationship, and I really dodged a bullet that I was able to walk away from it.

As I reflect on my past, I am more frustrated with my actions as opposed to his. And let me tell you why. I allowed someone to tell me my self-worth. And to make it worse, I really believed what I was being told. It took me so long to walk away from negativity and that constant reminder that I was nothing special. But when I did I realized that I was worth so much more than that.

Learning my self-worth was one of the most challenging things I’ve ever really experienced. It’s so hard to remember every day that you are something special; that you are worth respect and that you need to love yourself. Because as most young people in general can probably agree, sometimes life just doesn’t seem to work in your favor.

But that’s why learning self-worth is the best thing you can and will ever do for yourself. When you treat and love yourself right because you know your self-worth, others will treat you right and respect you. You learn what you deserve, and you learn what you sure as hell don’t deserve. You learn that you are your first priority and your happiness is vital.

I know what you’re thinking: Someone’s bitter. But let me assure you that I am the farthest thing from bitter. I am grateful for my learning experience. Sometimes you have to hit rock bottom to be able to get back up again and just snap out of it. Sometimes it’s just a matter of picking up the pieces and putting yourself back together. With that being said, I have no hard feelings or regrets of my past decisions. Every decision you make is going to impact who you are and where you end up, and even my bad decisions have helped bring me on the right path. If I hadn’t been through it all, and really forced to think about who I am and what I want, I wouldn’t have been able to realize my own self-worth. And for that, I am not bitter but so very grateful.

Now please don’t mistake me for a narcissistic diva who doesn’t need anybody because that is not my point here. I actually need a lot of people; my best friends and mom know this very well, and it is important to develop a great support system. But it is confidence, in myself, that let’s me know that I am worth it and I can hold it together. There is a big difference between being cocky and being confident. Big difference in saying things like: “Oh, of course I’m going to get that job” and “ I’m qualified for the job," and think I could really get it”. You need to have confidence in yourself because if you don’t have confidence in yourself, who is going to have confidence in you?

And the only way you’re going to have confidence is if you know the reasons you should be confident. If you know you can sing like Beyonce or paint like Picasso… OWN IT. There’s something awesome about you, don’t be afraid to admit that to yourself.

My closing argument being that you need to know yourself, know your worth, accept your flaws, and be confident anyways. You are your biggest fan; don’t let yourself down with self-doubt. And don’t let anyone tell you how to live your life or how to love and appreciate yourself. Because in actuality, who’s opinion is more valid, yours or some negative person projecting their insecurities on to you? I mean really, is that even a question?