Sometimes the hardest thing in life is being honest, especially when you know it is going to hurt the person you love most in the world. It doesn’t matter how much you care for someone, how badly you want them to be happy, you still have to say it. Breaking my best friend’s heart is, to this day, still the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do. We’d known each other our entire childhood; lived right down the street from each other. When we started dating things went too fast, but I couldn’t have been happier about it. I thought he was my soulmate, the love of my life, but boy was I naïve. I still love him and care for him, but sometimes your love changes and then things are never the same again. Needless to say our breakup was not mutual, some would say that it was actually quite out of the blue, but deep down I think I knew for a while. I didn’t want to believe that I was falling out of love. I was scared to tell him because I didn’t want to hurt him; I didn't want to lose the one person in the world that seemed to understand me the most.
People talk about overcoming heart break all the time, but why does no one talk about the guilt of the other person. Just because it was one person's decision doesn't make the end any easier for them. I know I blame myself more than I should, which often makes me scared and unsure of my feelings. It was one of those drastic life changing moments where you know you''ll never be the same person again and that there's no going back. I will never regret any of the decisions I have ever made because I know that those choices have formed me into the person I am today and as cliché as it sounds, that’s just part of life. There’s going to be pain before something better comes along and at the end of the day we are both better people for what happened and we've both learned so much.
It’s just one of those learning lessons in life that suck, but teach us more about ourselves than we ever imagined. It just makes us realize one of the hardest things to accept in life, and that is that most things don’t last forever. That moment of happiness will fade but we have to roll with the punches. Its best to not take life too seriously because you’re going to mess up and you’re going to feel shitty about some of your decisions, but you have to forgive yourself quickly. Holding onto things that happened in the past will only keep you from living in the present. Sometimes the hardest person to forgive is yourself, but you’ll never truly be at peace again until you do.
