1. They know too much.
Your hometown friends know everything. I'm talking about the drama of your first boyfriend and that time you almost got kicked out of the house. They know that you're 1000 percent lying when you say you don't snore, and about your not so secret Justin Bieber/Jonas Brothers obsession. They watched you go through your embarrassing punk-rock phase in the seventh grade, and they know that you know every single word to the Danny Phantom theme song. They remember when you briefly had a crush on that guy who has now dropped out of college, and they know all of your bad habits and all of your screw-ups because they were the first people that you told.
2. They've seen too much.
My hometown best friends were there when I got my first kiss, and they were there when I attempted to surf for the first time. They were there when I curled into a ball on the kitchen floor and refused to move after watching The Blair Witch Project on Halloween. They've seen me puke and they've seen me try to Polynesian dance. Yours have seen you burst into an incredibly moving rendition of High School Musical's "Stick to the Status Quo" and cry hysterically because you knew that Rose could have fit Jack on the other half of that board. They've seen you baby talk to your dog and shovel food into your mouth and they know about the giant Taylor Lautner poster on the back of your bedroom door.
3. You've done too much together.
I'm not really talking about the mani-pedis and the ice skating or going to the movies. We've done the hokey-pokey while waiting for the bus in the middle of Manhattan, we've burned our school notes on the beach. We've dared each other to run out into the middle of the street and scream, "I'm a llama!" at one in the morning. We've experienced Blood on the Dance Floor's set at Warped Tour (0/10 would not recommend), and we've cheered on eight different sets of bagpipes playing essentially the same song at the St. Patrick's Day parade. We've dogpiled on top of each other on more than one occasion, and we spend way too much time watching Disney movies. We've giggled through our state exams and thrown erasers at each other during class. You got yelled at for passing notes in middle school, you've invited them to awkward dinners with your boyfriend's friends, and you've squished into one car with them because only one of you had the car+ license combo at the time.
4. They're super accepting of all of your flaws.
My hometown friends have known me for so long now, and they've known each other for even longer. I couldn't be more grateful for how accepting they are. If there was one person you could count on to be late, it would be me. I'm the shady person sending, "I'm on the way!" texts while still sitting in front my bedroom mirror curling my hair. And you can always count on me to make a bad wardrobe decision. Forty degrees? A tiny cropped leather jacket should be fine. I'm incredibly ditzy and childish and dramatic and my attitude is a whole other problem, but again, they're super accepting. One of my other friends is super passionate about music and sports, and she gets scared that she's annoying us, but the truth is, seeing her get so happy is one of my favorite things in the world. She sees her excitement as a flaw, but it's one of the things I love most about her. Your hometown friends know that you struggle, but they're there for you because they've always been there for you. They love you not in spite of your "flaws" but because of them.
5. Space isn't real.
Other than your family, there isn't really a group of people you're more comfortable with than your hometown friends. We sit on each other regularly, we lay on each other regularly. Need to cuddle? They've got your back. Hometown friends give you kisses, and if you put your hand (or any body part, really) anywhere near one of their mouths, expect to get licked or worse, bitten. They know all the spots where your ticklish, and I'm pretty sure some of us have physically fought before. We have no shame. Koala-ing and piggyback rides are normal. Changing in front of each other? Normal. We've shared beds and foods and families. Space? What's that?
6. They're protective.
Seriously. I, personally, am so protective of my friends. I want what's best for them, and I know they want that for me too. You've got a boyfriend who's treating you badly? Your HF's will send you blatant "DUMP HIM" texts. There's a girl at your new school who's bugging you? They don't care that you see her twice a week and have to work with her on a group project, they're willing to fight her. If anyone is even thinking about mistreating you, there are girls, spread out over three or four different states, who have already added that person to their hit list. Even if you have a change of heart and forget, your hometown friends won't. Once on the hit list, always on the hit list.
7. They're supportive.
This one is so so important. All friends should be supportive of each other, but my hometown friends are my safe space, they're my support group. In knowing all of my flaws and being super protective, they're able to support me in a really unique way. They know how you react to situations, and what to say to make you feel better. My hometown friends and I went through Hurricane Sandy together, we've supported each other through the deaths of family and friends, and through break-ups and fights with our parents. When one of us hated the college she chose freshman year, we had her back, comforted her, and cheered her on when she decided to transfer. When you chase your dreams, they're right there with you, beaming with pride. Whether you're getting involved with your school's sportscast, or Circle K, or Habitat for Humanity, or casually becoming captain of the equestrian team, your hometown friends know how much it means to you, and they're always proud when they see good things happening to you.
8. They always listen, and they don't judge.
No matter how far apart we are, I know that I can text or call or facetime my hometown friends and they'll make time to give me advice or laugh at whatever weird situation I've gotten myself into. Social media makes it so easy to stay in touch, but it's important to understand that it's not a substitute for checking in on the people you love. It's not a substitute for actually talking to them. Sometimes you can get caught up with life, but even when it's been weeks since I've spoken to them, I know that my homegirls are always there, and like Blanche, they always want details. It's easier to talk them about things going on at school because they don't know these people personally, and they always have your back.
8. Their family is your family.
Honestly, my friends' moms are incredible. And their dads are super funny. And their little cousins are really sweet. I've gone on vacation with them, their parents have offered to adopt me. I get genuinely sad if I haven't seen their moms in a while, and when they come over, they're probably spending more time catching up with my mom and trying to get my brother and dog to love them than hanging out with me. Being able to walk into someone else's house, say, "Hi mom," and flop onto the couch, is such a good feeling. When you text your parents saying, "I'm sleeping over at so-and-so's house tonight," they're not surprised. In fact, they were never really expecting you to come home anyway.
9. They know you.
I know this one seems a little redundant, but when you've essentially grown up with people, they understand how you operate. They know what'll upset you, they can tell when you're acting. They know what to do to cheer you up and they're really good at it. Years and years of dealing with you and your quirks has given them seriously high levels of tolerance, and, more importantly, intimate knowledge of your personality. They believe in the good in you, even when you feel like there isn't any. In addition to this, you've known them for so long that you're automatically yourself around them. You're your weirdest, goofiest self around these people, like you are with your family, and that's really something that takes time.
10. They drive you nuts.
A little less positive than the others, but true nonetheless. My homegirls drive me nuts. We're catty and we fight and sometimes we miscommunicate and feelings get hurt, but I wouldn't want it any other way. We operate like a family, and that's really important, because even when you love someone, it doesn't mean you're incapable of hurting them. Even when you're supportive and you see the good in them and you want what's best for them, that's not always enough for a relationship to run smoothly. Having these friends has taught me a lot about not overreacting, and controlling my temper, and considering the intention of someone's actions rather than just the effect.
11. They're up for anything at any time.
You want to spend six hours at the beach? They're down. Want to go kayaking? Sure. Want to spend your 18th birthday at a carousel? Okie dokie, then. Spontaneous baking and shopping trips and dinners are normal and expected. They'll watch your favorite movie with you over and over again. You want to see a concert in another state? They're more than willing to go with you. When you're all at home you're never ever bored, because you're always doing something. Even if it's just going over to each other's house to watch Friends, spending time with them never gets old.
12. They're too important to let go.
In the end, keeping up with your hometown friends is important because you love them, and they love you. They've seen you grow and change into the person you are, and they've seen you work hard to get the things that you want. It may be hard, with each of you becoming close to your college friends and getting caught up with life and school, but I promise it's worth it. It may be bizarre to some people, but my friends and I have stayed close through middle school, high school, and now college. The fact that they've stuck with me for this long is incredible in and of itself. Growing apart is a real thing, and I get that, sometimes as you grow you're going to lose friends along the way, sometimes it's for the better, but for now, they're crazy and weird and I love them a lot, and if someone else doesn't understand why, that's not really my problem anymore, because these girls have become pretty strong fixtures in my life, and I'm not giving up on them.
