Sometimes, I forget why I write. It's hard to remember why you love something when the only time you get to do it is for essays and other assignments that are mandatory to your coursework. It becomes almost a chore. Yes, you love writing. No, maybe you don't hate writing your essay on The Crucible quite as much as everyone else does, but that doesn't mean that you're enjoying staying up all night and writing the essay.
It's sad, because writing is something that I really love to do, and I don't seem to have the time or inspiration like I used to. I would lay across my bed, notebook open, pen caught between my teeth, and let my soul pour out in ink on pages of paper. That's why I began writing, because everything I wanted to say, everything I wanted to articulate, but couldn't, was able to be expressed through written words.
I have always had a difficult time expressing my emotions to others. It seemed that my words would get caught in my throat, my feelings choking the air out of me, so I was unable to communicate whatever I was going through to anyone. I felt crippled, cheated out of words by my anxiety and stuttering attempts at clarifying what I meant.
Though my written words were the same language as my spoken, I found it easier to write out what I wanted to say and what I wanted other people to know. I could say it all silently, without being blunt or straightforward, by using imagery and other literary devices. For me, writing was a way to convey who I was and how I felt, without exposing myself so plainly. I used words how I could, twisting them and creating beautiful and haunting pictures out of pen and paper, into a language that might not be as clear as it seems.
Writing for coursework isn't quite the same as writing your own pieces, but it gives you just as much opportunity to convey what you're feeling about someone else's writing, or how you understand it, as well as allowing you into the mind of an author who is trying to express something hidden in a mixture of 26 basic letters.
I write because it lets me feel things. It allows me to express myself in ways other than simply stating: "I'm happy", or "I'm sad", or "I'm in love", or anything else I may be experiencing. Writing gives me access to an entire world, an entire universe that can be written in words, but paints a vivid image in the mind.
