We all get to a certain age where everyone we know is either getting married or having kids. It seems like every time you scroll through Facebook or Instagram there are engagement pictures from friends and tons of people offering their congrats. It's beautiful to see, really. Two people who are in love enough to commit their lives to each other is a wonderful thing, and every time I see a ring float across my timeline, I smile a bit. No, I'm not bitter. No, I'm not sick and tired of it. But yes, it does make you wonder when your time will come.
You start to wonder how everyone around you met their future spouse so quickly and what or if you are doing anything wrong. When you get asked by relatives about potential wedding bells, a small part of you dies inside. You don't want to make it such a big deal, but you start to question it, "When is it my turn?"
These are feelings I've had for the past few months. No matter how happy I am for all of my friends who are getting married and having kids and living their life, it's difficult to ignore the itch of jealousy in the back of your brain. Even when no one is pressuring you, you can still feel the small force sometimes. You start to think about how you would like for just anyone to show some interest in you. You start to consider settling, dropping your standards and just hoping that will help in any way it can.
But settling is not the way to ensure the future that you dream of.
Don't settle because you feel you are someone unworthy of what your heart desires. In settling for a relationship, you are settling in yourself as well. You are saying that it is completely okay to not wait for the one you really want. You are okay with mediocrity. And who is society to tell us the way to live our lives? If I want to spend my time getting my degree and spending time becoming my own person before having a family, then who can tell me that isn't the right thing for me? Who else but you knows what's the best for your life?
You can't settle for someone who doesn't think the world of you. You can't settle for anyone who won't love you in your entirety and want to spend the rest of their life with you. Don't even think about crossing standards off of your list. One of the things I've been told is that everything happens for a reason. I like to think that this period of singleness for me is in preparation for my future. There is nothing wrong with wanting to use this period as one of transformation. It's a great time to find who you are and what you want out of life. And in living your life, someone, sometime is going to happen along and fit right into your plans, and you in theirs. And then, you'll be so thankful that you didn't just settle when the going got tough. You'll laugh at yourself for doubting your resilience.
As for me, I will wait. I will sit back and be happy for my friends and family and the extraordinary things happening in their lives. And I will know that my time will come when it's meant to, and when it does, it will be amazing.
