When trying to find inspiration for what to write about for this article, I referred back to some of my previous articles. The one that stood out to me was "Why We Go Back To That One Person." I feel that is the one article, of which, I have had a complete change of mind and heart. All I mentioned before was true, at that given point in my life. But since then, (as much as I hate to say it) I have proved myself to be wrong. So, I want to leave you with, what I believe is, the most honest and accurate advice.
It is a fact that it takes 12-18 months to forget about someone or something, to stop thinking of them every day, to truly get over them. So when they say "time heals everything," there is truth to that. But a year and a half is a long time to get over one single person. One year of heartache and tears and daily social media stalking and sleepless nights and reoccurring thoughts of what could've been and what should've been.Well, here's the thing, "what could've" happened isn't what "should've" happened, because it didn't; and it didn't for a reason. You two didn't work the first or second time, and it's more than likely not going to work on the seventh or eighth. Sometimes the truth hurts. But as much as you don't want to hear it, you need to hear it, loud and clear. No, don't just hear it, listen. Really listen when I tell you this. Becuase even though it takes all this time to heal after a breakup, if you start your healing process today instead of in six months when you break up again, then less of your time is wastedTime is the most precious thing we possess. Do not waste another second of your time on someone of your past. You are literally still giving this person, of your past, your life by allowing them to control your thoughts and actions. You understand that this is your time that you will never ever get back, right?. Spend that time on something new, on something that makes you a better person, on someone who loves you for who you are, just NOT on that one person that you keep holding onto. It's time to let go.
Of course, it is easier said than done; letting go. Even when I think I am completely over my ex, I see a picture on Facebook that reminds me of him and makes me wonder how he's doing and then I'd text and ask. Which just prolongs that process. These things are going to pop up. But, when it does, don't let that split second reaction set you back in your process of moving on. You don't need to let that one thought take over and stick in your mind. When you see a funny video of a puppy on Facebook, do you keep laughing about it for the next two weeks? No. You laugh and go on with your day. You may think of it again later next week. And again, you laugh and carry on with your day. Why are we letting a memory of that one person make us upset but not letting that puppy make us happy? I wonder this myself because honestly, the puppy is probably better for us, in the long run, than that person we just won't allow yourself to get over.
Oh. So, you got that text that said "I still love you" or "I really miss you"? Yeah, that just prolonged the process, too. When we think that there is still hope for a past relationship, we grab onto that idea, no matter how silly it may be. We want to know that the person that we love/loved still loves us, too. And for a second we forget about all the fights and the bad breakup and only see what they texted us. I hate to break it to you but they probably texted of selfishness, not love, just to see if you'd answer, to see if they still had ahold of you. The next time you get that text, delete it. Block their number if you don't have enough self-control. I'll be honest, I don't have much self-control. Blocking people's numbers and social media accounts have helped me with this process more than I'd like to admit.
I hate that it has taken me so long to realize what I should've known all along. But, know that I know, I will not allow myself to spend any more time in the past. And I hope you don't either. There is just so much life to be lived. Don't live it in the past, moping around about that one that broke your heart. As soon as their page in your book has turned, say "ok, I love you, goodbye, I've got a lot more pages to flip through." Go live your life. Go be happy, you've wasted enough time being unhappy with that one person. Don't continue to re-live the unhappiness. In the future, I guarantee, you will be so thankful that you stopped wasting your precious time in the past.
Again, sorry for encouraging this ridiculous behavior in my previous article. I was wrong that one time. I promise I'll never lead you in the wrong direction again. But, hey, you live and you learn, right?
XO and best wishes,
Ashley Rose Corbin
