In the year of 2013, sitting in my general psychology class at Dutchess Community College as a history major, I suddenly decided I wanted to be a psychology major. The idea seemed to come out of nowhere, but now that I think about it, maybe it wasn’t as random as I thought. All my life, I have been trying to figure out what I wanted to do to help this world in the best way I could. My passion and desire in this life is to help make this world feel worth it. My only goal is to somehow impact a person in the healthiest, positive and loving way I know how. Sitting in class in fall of 2013, I figured out how I would do it. I would study psychology.
Growing up and currently, I suffer from both depression and anxiety. Life has always felt like a heavy cloud hanging over my head, and I always feel on edge waiting for something to happen to me. My mental state has always been shaky and constantly over-thinking the littlest things, making me worry intensely — therefore worsening my depression and, sadly, leading to thoughts of taking a bow in this life. I deal with this on a regular basis, and my only hope is to help others who have this frustrating cycle. I want to work with people to try and come up with solutions. I want to sit down and be the person someone goes to, who they know will not judge, question or put down because of their thoughts, emotions and struggles. I instead want to be the one to listen, understand, empathize and create a plan to help these individuals know they are not alone in their struggles.
Everybody has been in their own personal rabbit hole, some longer than others, but struggles are universal. No matter how different or difficult the struggle, someone else in the world has faced it as well. I want to help people find their special reason and place in this world. I want to remind them that their mental health can be worked on, and they can always find a reason to remain here, because this world needs everyone for a special and unique reason.
This life can be such an overdose, but I hope so desperately to help people stay afloat by connecting and relating to people with my love and with my personal struggles. By doing this, I hope to keep myself afloat as well. Making a positive difference in this world is my own lifeline, my own unique reason to stay planted in this life.
