I'm not going to talk about the pretty weird and slightly confusing origins of Valentine's Day. That's something you can look up and read into if you're really interested. I'm going to talk about why Valentine's Day in the modern era kind of sucks a lot.
And no, I'm not a sad single that's looking to bash a couple's holiday.
I'm dating a very good man who also agrees that celebrating this holiday is stupid.
It doesn't even have to do with how; it, like most other holidays, is commercialized and over-hyped.
My issue is this: If you really love someone, why do you need a specific day to show it?
Just like with New Year's resolutions, if you need a specific day to do a thing like show your partner your affection for them, you need to rethink your priorities and your feelings. Maybe you aren't into them anymore. Maybe they're pressuring you to do something. Maybe you think it'll make up for all of the things you've done wrong. Maybe you think you're only allowed to show affection this one day a year.
None of these are good reasons.
If you're going to do anything on February 14th, make it because you want to, not because you feel like you "have to" or because you think doing something extravagant one day of the year will "fix" your relationship or "right all the wrongs" you've done. The idea that this is some day of love is pretty stupid in my opinion.
If any day should be considered a "day of love," it should be your anniversary. It's a milestone for your specific relationship, a day to think back to everything you've been through together, and even if you and your partner aren't into celebrations, at least toast each other to all the good times that have been (and will be) had.
This isn't to say I'm against people enjoying the holiday however stereotypically they want. By all means, go rub noses in a cafe decked out with frills, pink, and hearts if that's what you want to do. That's totally fine by me; my boyfriend and I have definitely been that gross couple before.
What I am against is people thinking that they can only show their affection this one day of the year or that showing affection this one day is enough. If you've had mature discussions with your partner and it's agreed that, yeah, this is how you like it, that's different.
What isn't okay is this: if you have ignored your partner, your best friend, and your partner's best friend all telling you that you should pay more attention to your partner because she feels ignored and you, thinking it will be enough, buy the same box of chocolates that your best friend bought for his girlfriend.
Yes, I may still be a little salty about an ex of mine who did something pretty similar.
Bottom line: Every day can be Valentine's Day if you're gross enough because it's just another day of the year, not some magical do-romantic-stuff-and-everything-is-fixed kind of day.
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