Why I Think About Death All The Time | The Odyssey Online
Start writing a post
Politics and Activism

Why I Think About Death All The Time

And a few other thoughts running through my mind.

142
Why I Think About Death All The Time
Death to Stock

I am 24 years old. Twenty-four years old, and I talk with my friends about death at least once a week. I ruminate on the idea more than twice each day, hear about it on the news all the time.

In the beginning I thought of myself as ridiculous for doing so and blamed it on my past experiences:

  • Almost drowning twice
  • Someone almost choking me to death
  • A "friend" breaking into my apartment and sexually assaulting me
  • Traveling around the world, encountering a few volatile situations
  • Recklessly driving a vehicle beyond speed limits

Et cetera, et cetera, et cetera -- merely living is risking death.

When of all these failed to explain it, I attributed all death's weight to condensing ten years of "growing up" into one year as a foreign teacher abroad with no language skills, no friends, and living in isolation. Maybe this brought on the cycle of pondering the end - ceasing to exist. That might help ease other qualms, but still - that wasn't it.


I am 24 years old.

I'm no more important than anyone else. Invincibility is behind me - I can't survive everything and anything. I won't be here forever.

Honestly, this is the prime time in my life to think about death.

How could I believe otherwise in 2017?

A shooting at the Fort Lauderdale airport just happened - another one for the count I lost months ago.

Celebrities and friends alike overdose on drugs; the difference is the news report.

People are beaten to death for their skin color.

Both the young and old die in their sleep.

Heart attacks are everywhere, any age, and I might be next.

Even if I jog and participate in yoga classes, cancer may appear. I might have it now for all I know.

I am not living in a country besieged by bombings. But someone may age is/was/continues to be. I may be soon.

Half of my family lives in a country where the president supports the killing of people assumed/linked to illegal drugs. My president doesn't kill people for their assumed affiliation with illegal drugs. He doesn't make a competition for it either. Does not change the fact that the environment exists.


I am 24 years old.

Death is all around. Do people see it like I do?

When I think about death, it's like an idea that passes through me. I project the thought and then like a ghost it floats through my being until it carries on behind me. No feelings of disturbance.


Today's world, depending on your lot, guarantees you death but never a time. Acknowledge this, and I think you have a great tool on your hands. Work towards thinking two steps ahead of everything you do.

Take a daily task:

You're driving down the road. Should you be looking elsewhere, a car may cross your path. Should your life come to its final close, are you okay with that? Whatever you were on your way to do, did you really want to do that?

It's that commonplace. A truck rams into a store window; a ceiling caves in on top of you. I work on the 23rd floor of a building and find myself looking out wondering: is this the day the building topples on top of itself? Would I be okay with that?



I find myself cycling through two questions:

1. Is this the moment where I get to ponder death or where I get to experience it?

2. Do I worry or fear the unknown time of my death while living in a guaranteed moment?

I know the answer to the second. I may never know the answer to the first.


I guess I just get to cherish everything a little more with each pondering thought.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Student Life

7 Jobs Your Roommate Has

She's got your back with everything that college throws at you.

500
Cristina Yang and Meredith Grey in scrubs sit against a wall, smiling and enjoying a break.

If you are anything like my roommate and I, you have a friendship with your roomie. You’re lucky to have gotten a roommate that is easy to get along with and more importantly cool to live with. Whether you found her on Facebook or went random, a roommate is a big part of life in college. This list goes through some of the jobs that a roommate has that help you get through college.

Keep Reading...Show less
Student Life

35 Things I Wish I Learned In My Freshman Year Of College

Just some relatable college student advice! Yes, you aren’t the only one!

685
Towson University
YouTube

Freshman year can either be the greatest year, or the roughest year. It depends on your transition and how you adjust. For me, freshman year in college was one of the best years of my life. However, looking back, there are a few things that I wish I learned.

Now that I am a sophomore, I can finally do things a little differently. Here are a few things that I wish I learned my freshman year of college!

Keep Reading...Show less
Woman in field with a red heart-shaped balloon under a colorful sky.

Being single can be great and awful at the same time. Yeah, it's awesome to have time to yourself to figure out who you are and make your own decisions. It would also be nice to have someone to go through life with, but it needs to be the right person. I haven't found that person yet and here's a few reasons why.

Keep Reading...Show less
Entertainment

15 Times "Parks and Recreation" Summed Up Your Library Experience

"I've only slept nine hours over the past four days, so I'm right on the verge of a nervous breakdown." - Leslie Knope

5731
Parks and Recreation excitedly gathered around a laptop at a table in an office setting.

The library. Club lib. The place every college student goes when they want to try and be a productive member of society. Who better to explain your experience than Parks and Rec?

1. When you've finally found the energy to leave your dorm room and walk into the lib like

Keep Reading...Show less
Taylor Swift in orange dress playing a moss-covered piano on stage with bright lights.

A three-and-a-half-hour runtime. Nine Eras. Eleven outfit changes. Three surprise songs. Zero breaks. One unforgettable evening. In the past century, no other performer has put on an electric performance quite like Taylor Swift, surpassing her fans ‘wildest dreams’. It is the reason supporters keep coming back to her shows each year. Days later, I’m still in awe of the spectacle ‘Miss Americana’ puts on every few days in a new city. And, like one of Taylor’s exes, has me smiling as I reminisce about the memories of the night we spent together.

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments