I hear this word tossed around constantly, and I have to say, every time I hear it, I get more angry. Used as an insult, or a way to express displeasure in something, it bears such a negative, rude connotation. I'll admit it; when people say "that's so gay," annoyance trickles through my body. Thankfully, the use of that phrase has diminished a little in the past few years. But it's been taken over by something just as irritating. The R word, or "retarded", for those of you who were unaware, is constantly used in such a negative manner, especially on the SUNY Cortland campus. I'll proudly be the first person to admit that it makes my blood boil. I absolutely hate it. Nothing makes me angrier than hearing a bunch of guys walk by, making fun of one of their friends for doing something dumb and saying, "What the hell bro, you're so retarded, get it together." I'm not even going to label college men as the ones who use this phrase the most. I've heard girls talk about their nights out and how, "we were sooooo retarded last night, I definitely didn't even know my name or how I ended up at Grate, isn't that crazy?!?!" Ummmm, no, it's not crazy. It's far from that. I don't understand the need to use such a demeaning term to describe your rancid behavior from the night before.

If I'm coming off as a pissed off individual right now, it's because I am. You could say that I have a personal vendetta when it comes to the R word. My 16 year old brother was diagnosed with Autism Spectrum Disorder when he was young, and since then, I have fought with people about the words they use to describe him. "Wait, is your brother a retard?" was one of the first questions I remember someone asking me in the fourth grade. And not for nothing, it hurt. I sat in the girl's room, and I cried. I felt terrible. How could someone ever label my brother with such a negative term? When I was younger, I would chalk it up to my classmates not understanding terms that they had heard tossed around on the bus and on the playground. But I got to college, and I was shocked at how often adults use the R word in such a demeaning manner. It still drives me insane.

Honestly, when you're calling someone the R-word, what's running through your brain? I have to know. My brother does have a form of mental retardation, and I know that. But that doesn't make him out to be any less of a person than you and I are. Sure, he's nonverbal and will probably never live on his own, and he'll probably end up in some type of special needs home as an adult where I'll be visiting him. But have you ever heard him laugh? Have you ever seen his eyes light up when my sister and I walk into the room? I bet you've never checked out his artwork, scattered across my mom's cubicle and in our living room at home. You have never witnessed him taking my phone and taking pictures of himself, then deleting them because they aren't up to his standards. Maybe your parents used the R word frequently while you were growing up, and you never learned any better. Maybe you picked it up in the school yard and thought it would be a cool word to shock all of your friends. In any case, I'm begging you: please stop, and think for a moment. Think about what you're going to say because it's not fair. It's not fair to my brother, and it's not fair to all of the other people out there with special needs. They may be different, but that does not make us better. Come up with a better term, because this one has got to go.