I stumbled upon this quote online once and it stuck with me ever since.
Home is a place one finds comfort, a place of warmth and contentment. A place where one can be carefree.
I was the type of person who always wanted to find the comfort of home in someone. I guess that is why I always fell too hard or cared too deeply about others. Putting others before myself was such an easy task to do. I found myself doing it without thinking twice, it came so natural- and I hate it. Do not get me wrong, I have nothing but absolute love for everyone around me but it drains me. I have found myself empty way too often from giving my full energy and attention to my friends or a boy I cared too deeply about. This may have happened due to the way my parents raised me, or it could also be a gift/curse from God himself. I would always wonder and cry out why I would hurt so bad. I do not think I ever realized that I was the cause of my own destruction.
After realizing I was basically mentally destroying myself, I knew I needed to stop. I turned to music instead, which was unfortunately another mistake. Music was my escape from everyone, so I developed my love into my home. I found comfort in music, which was much needed, but it got to the point where I found home in artists and boybands. I put my 100 percent all into supporting these bands, when I was actually forgetting about my all together needs. I kept forgetting about taking care of myself, when I need to be my number one priority.
People often tend to forget that we should always put ourselves first. Loving ourselves should always be a priority. I had not realized this until my first semester of college, when I ironically found myself. We all have multiple physical homes: our hometown, where we grew up, our college homes and we’ll have many future homes as well. Despite those being our physical homes, we may not actually feel like home in any of those places. That is because we are our home. You can be a completely different person in each location and that is completely okay. Those locations do not define who you are; you are your true definition of yourself.
Change can be hard, but as long as you have yourself you will be fine. You are what is important, your love can change everything. You do not need to seek the comfort of home in a lover or a friend, you should be your own home. Life will throw you many obstacles in life, but you cannot let it destroy you, because at the end of the day you will still have yourself. Do not be upset with the fact you are alone, because you never are. You have a home, in yourself. Praise yourself as you should deserve, love yourself as you should. You have to treat yourself as a home in order for you to start believing you are one. Take care of yourself, decorate yourself, treat yourself, and repair yourself. After you do all of that, you can add members into your own home. One has to grow in their own comfort in order to let others in. No matter what happens, know you are not alone. You are your own home.
