I have had some good girlfriends in my life - some really, really good ones - but most have been not-so-good.
I have had many toxic friendships, and many that just haven't lasted. As I got older, I naturally grew apart from my friends. We turned into people with such different interests and goals, and that was okay and natural.
However, as I got older, some friendships, I realized, were not natural. Some people I considered my best friends really weren't so good at all. They were judgmental and pushed me to do things and be someone that I did not want to do or be. Some friendships proved to be more stressful than anything. They judged me for little things and did not listen to what I wanted - it was always only their way. In high school, I gave a lot of myself to other people. I wanted to take care of my friends, and I didn't mind for a while how they treated me because I knew they were struggling and just wanted to be there for them, but you can only give so much when you are not getting anything in return.
I had to let some really good friends go.
It seemed like no matter how much I gave, it's wasn't enough. Until I met my significant other. In the first couple years of our relationship though, I always chose girlfriends over him. I would always cancel plans with him to hang out with other friends, because I really believed that girlfriends would always be there while he probably wouldn't be. Boy, was I wrong.
I continued to have friends drop me for the dumbest things, and it really hurt. But you know who never left me, even though they saw worse parts of me than my friends ever did? My significant other. In high school, I really thought I had found a couple of forever friends. We were so close and shared so much with each other, and always talked about being friends after high school, but as soon as high school ended, one of them never hung out with me no matter how many times I tried, and the other I saw a few times, but we grew apart from each other, unfortunately.
I've only had one friend stick with me for years, and I have a couple more that I've met that I really hope and believe will be with me forever, but I also know my significant other will be with me forever.
No matter what I went through, how many friends I lost, whatever happened, he has always been extremely loyal and kind, and after high school, I didn't put him second anymore to my friends. To some, boys are fleeting, unfortunately dating culture SUCKS, but in my experiences, girlfriends are fleeting. Except for my couple of great friends, I will never put him second. He comes first in my life because he has earned it. I spend all my time with him because I trust him. I choose him over most other people because I just have no reason to believe other people deserve my time more than he does.
My s/o has been the most amazing friend to me, and he deserves my time. I can't say that about too many girls.
