"If you are afraid, come here and I will hold you. Or go away, go for a walk and hold yourself sweetly." - Waylon Lewis from Things I Would Like To Do With You
The time alone I have spent with myself has taught me more than what I could have ever imagined.
There is a certain kind of relationship you begin to develop with yourself when you give yourself the time to be alone. A type of relationship that sometimes we may never get to experience if we do not grant ourselves this kind of space.
The kind of space I am talking about is loneliness.
Not the loneliness that leaves you aching for company, or starving for attention, but the kind that lets you feel safe within the boundaries of you.
Even from ancient times in history, we are told that if we are alone, we are not complete people. If we don't have lovers, or families, or someone to constantly lean on that we are missing something -- we are not whole. Therefore, we are always on this search for someone to be with, to spend our time with, and to give our love to.
We end up neglecting ourselves.
We end up giving what we cannot yet give to ourselves and spend so much time trying to find someone that we have no sense of self.
We become dependent.
And it is OK, because this is a turning point where the realization comes in, that space is a necessary thing in order to nourish yourself, before you give to those around you.
It is OK to be selfish.
There is no need to rush through life to find someone who suits you.
Suit yourself. Love yourself. Cherish yourself. Find yourself. Hold yourself.
Heal yourself.
It is necessary to crawl inside yourself for awhile. It is important to know your limits and boundaries without having to look for someone else to fix or save you.
You cannot give what you do not yet possess.
I have learned in my time being alone that there is nothing sweeter than knowing you will be OK despite anything that may happen in life. Once you have a strong understanding of how to take care of yourself, you will always have that.
If there is no space, there is suffocation.
I have learned that giving my lover and myself space in our relationship leaves more room for trust, understanding, and appreciation of time spent together.
You do not need to dig your nails deep into a person to make them stay. Leave the door open, always.
