Like most successful young women, I myself have had many friendships crumble; it's like watching a bad reality TV show. The friendships I let go were for the better and I have found myself learning from them. Now developing only healthy friendships to further and prosper with.

All of my past friends seem to have a trend; they all took their problems out on me, and I never saw it being an issue until things got bad.

There was the soccer team friendship in love with the idea of one another, but never truly getting along besides talking about losing weight and cute Tinder boys. There was the high school best friend with emotional issues and self confidence so low, she took all of her raging anger out on those who cared about her the most. And last, but certainly not least, the longest high school friendship. I always thought we would be there for one another. I mean, we were until we matured, and realized we were nothing alike anymore.

Most of the friendships that I let go were easy to move on from, and I moved on quickly, but there was something about this last friendship that I just couldn’t get over. We both lost. Both of us lost a piece of one another. We both equally were deprived of our “go to person”, #1 Snapchat friend and comfort zones…we then later developed those new friendships and were thriving without one another. From checking Facebook to see if she was settling well in college, to updates on her Instagram, I still cared immensely about her. She was part of my family. My moms “second daughter” and someone my little brother hoped to always have as another older sister. She completed my happiness, and was the second half of my heart for most of my high school years. Sure, we floated around friends and made memories without one another, but we always found our way back.

Ending a friendship like this wasn’t easy. It was daunting as I waited for a sign that she missed me. I waited for a chance to tweet something funny and she might see it. I'll never regret anything her and I did during our time as best friends. She will always be a part of my heart, and someone I will never forget. Every time I hear her name, she always comes into mind.

Not regretting a toxic friend is always okay. Toxic friends can come in many shapes or sizes. I was her toxic friend, and she was mine. We both thought we could change; we both thought we could grow to become better for the other, but that was when we started to lose sight of who we were individually. I started to find myself trying new things she liked just so wecould have something to talk about at dinner, and I found her trying new things to do the same for me. Everyone will have an imperfect friendship, and whether you decide to continue it or end it is your personal choice.

If you’re seeing this right now, I hope you know this was out of love and I hope you’re doing well.

XO,

M